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All content by Turnip Staff
An open letter to open letters: Stop
April 29, 2015
Bucks unveil $5 gagillion arena, move to Seattle anyway to take dean position
April 8, 2015
BREAKING: MU to close down as university at end of academic year, reopen as giant bagel shop
April 1, 2015
RESULTS: Tournament of Things Elite Eight
March 29, 2015
RESULTS: Tournament of Things Sweet 16
March 26, 2015
RESULTS: Second round of Tournament of Things
March 24, 2015
RESULTS: First round of Tournament of Things
March 20, 2015
Joan of Arc Chapel wins Turnip’s first annual Tournament of Things
March 17, 2015
Pete Green releases Powerpoint plan for MU
March 16, 2015
MUSG subpoenas Pete Green’s private emails, emails reveal he loves freedom
March 5, 2015
With Super Duper PAC, Pete Green to declare run Monday
February 26, 2015
After provost announcement, MU announces new amateurvost
February 16, 2015
Walker, Bucks partner for bake sale to fund new arena
February 9, 2015
Pete Green forms exploratory committee to explore committees to make explorations
January 27, 2015
Student who built ark in Mashuda has last laugh
January 13, 2015
Student not contributing to group project gets hit by anvil
December 3, 2014
MU commissions DPS to be well-regulated band of mighty Spartan warriors
October 30, 2014
MU lands 15-star basketball recruit
October 9, 2014
Honor Council urges Burke to take Academic Integrity Tutorial or else she can’t run for governor
October 2, 2014
Ghost of Joseph McCarthy frustrated EthicsPoint wasn’t around during his MU tenure
October 2, 2014
BREAKING: Person in MU leadership remains in job
July 15, 2014
University sends email reminding seniors they are graduating
April 29, 2014
MUSG reveals slush fund actually a slushie fund, a fund for slushies
April 22, 2014
Milwaukee sports journalists quit jobs over difficulty spelling Marquette coach’s last name
April 3, 2014
339 years later, Father Marquette still not verified on Twitter
April 1, 2014
Doc the ferret added to basketball roster
April 1, 2014
Marquette adopts (another) new leadership model
April 1, 2014
Sleepy Clone Turns Down Coaching Offer
April 1, 2014
CNN delivers 24-hour coverage of Shaka Smart’s missing plane
April 1, 2014
Joan of Arc Chapel resigns, moves back to France
April 1, 2014
Green concedes from MUSG presidential race, but doesn’t
April 1, 2014
Marquette men’s basketball accepts bid to play HORSE at court by O’Donnell once weather gets nicer
March 17, 2014
Pete Green unveils “14-point plan for a Greener tomorrow but not like in the environmental way”
March 9, 2014
MU announces search committee to search for committees to make searches
March 9, 2014
Turnip endorses Pete Green, write-in candidate for MUSG president
March 3, 2014
Professor who actually uses gradebook wins Nobel Prize
February 24, 2014
Student organization raises billions in mid-afternoon bake sale
February 13, 2014
Student just wanted to study during Raynor Rave
December 12, 2013
Cumulative final dates back to preschool
December 10, 2013
Entire class of students waits anxiously for someone, anyone to add to Google Doc study guide
December 9, 2013
Freshman with last spring semester sign-up time gets all the 8 a.m.s ever
December 5, 2013
Stress-relief puppies stressed out from being pet by stressed students
December 2, 2013
McCormick dining hall makes everything pumpkin spiced because fall season says so
November 25, 2013
Presidential search committee looks under desks, in closets, still can’t find president
November 24, 2013
Marquette announces new construction on all the buildings, all the things
November 22, 2013
BREAKING: Student pretending to text while waiting for class to start actually has text
November 20, 2013
Marquette names new interim interim in the Office of the Interim
October 1, 2013
BREAKING: Liberal arts student finds job at job fair
February 21, 2013
University demolishes McCormick when no one is looking, hopes no one notices
January 14, 2013
Comm student spending all day studying remembers he is a comm student, stops studying
December 12, 2012
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