Bucks unveil $5 gagillion arena, move to Seattle anyway to take dean position


The Milwaukee Bucks unveiled a new $5 gagillion arena Wednesday, equipped with state-of-the-art facilities, five in-stadium restaurants and 20,000 leather seats, but the team still announced it was moving to Seattle anyway to become a college of communication dean.

“The new arena is just what the city needed in order to retain an NBA franchise,” said head coach Jason Kidd. “But ultimately¬†we wanted to take this new dean position.”

It is unclear how the entire roster will together act as one dean, and why the players would prefer to be a college of communication dean on the West Coast when they have a perfectly good gig as basketball players in the Midwest with a renovated stadium. But the move will be made nonetheless.

Funding for the $5 gagillion arena is non-refundable. Without the Bucks, the arena could be turned into an unnecessarily large bagel place.