Bucks unveil $5 gagillion arena, move to Seattle anyway to take dean position


The Milwaukee Bucks unveiled a new $5 gagillion arena Wednesday, equipped with state-of-the-art facilities, five in-stadium restaurants and 20,000 leather seats, but the team still announced it was moving to Seattle anyway to become a college of communication dean.

“The new arena is just what the city needed in order to retain an NBA franchise,” said head coach Jason Kidd. “But ultimately we wanted to take this new dean position.”

It is unclear how the entire roster will together act as one dean, and why the players would prefer to be a college of communication dean on the West Coast when they have a perfectly good gig as basketball players in the Midwest with a renovated stadium. But the move will be made nonetheless.

Funding for the $5 gagillion arena is non-refundable. Without the Bucks, the arena could be turned into an unnecessarily large bagel place.