Marquette Wire

Presidential search committee looks under desks, in closets, still can’t find president

Hang on for a minute...we're trying to find some more stories you might like.


Email This Story






Almost two months into its search for the next university president, Marquette’s presidential search committee can still not locate a president, despite looking under desks, in closets and in another traditional hiding spots.

The search is perplexing the committee members.

“We are running out of places to look,” said John Ferraro, chair of the presidential search committee and board of trustee member. “We even climbed trees and looked in bushes.”

Ferraro noted that the search increased in difficulty once the committee turned around, closed its eyes and gave all the presidents a 30-second head start to hide. He said he may have underestimated both the lay and Jesuit candidates’ hiding abilities.

“If hiding was something we were looking for in the next president, we would have a bunch of great candidates,” Ferraro said. “Unfortunately, things like fundraising, Catholic identity and other leadership qualities are higher on our list.”

Other members of the search committee said they are close to giving up, insisting the presidents must be cheating, especially after failing to comply with “come out, come out, wherever you are.” As the Turnip reported on this story, a president was located behind a copy machine in Johnston Hall, but he promptly hushed the reporter.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Leave a Comment

If you want a picture to show with your comment, go get a gravatar.




Navigate Left
  • Presidential search committee looks under desks, in closets, still can’t find president

    Blogs

    An open letter to open letters: Stop

  • Presidential search committee looks under desks, in closets, still can’t find president

    Blogs

    Bucks unveil $5 gagillion arena, move to Seattle anyway to take dean position

  • Presidential search committee looks under desks, in closets, still can’t find president

    Blogs

    BREAKING: MU to close down as university at end of academic year, reopen as giant bagel shop

  • Presidential search committee looks under desks, in closets, still can’t find president

    Blogs

    RESULTS: Tournament of Things Elite Eight

  • Presidential search committee looks under desks, in closets, still can’t find president

    Blogs

    RESULTS: Tournament of Things Sweet 16

  • Presidential search committee looks under desks, in closets, still can’t find president

    Blogs

    RESULTS: Second round of Tournament of Things

  • Presidential search committee looks under desks, in closets, still can’t find president

    Blogs

    RESULTS: First round of Tournament of Things

  • Presidential search committee looks under desks, in closets, still can’t find president

    Blogs

    Joan of Arc Chapel wins Turnip’s first annual Tournament of Things

  • Presidential search committee looks under desks, in closets, still can’t find president

    Blogs

    Pete Green releases Powerpoint plan for MU

  • Presidential search committee looks under desks, in closets, still can’t find president

    Blogs

    MUSG subpoenas Pete Green’s private emails, emails reveal he loves freedom

Navigate Right