Marquette Wire

Student not contributing to group project gets hit by anvil

Hang on for a minute...we're trying to find some more stories you might like.


Email This Story






Jerome Drake, a senior in the College of Business Administration who was not contributing to his group project, was suddenly struck by an anvil when walking down Wisconsin Avenue Tuesday.

Drake, who was not carrying his weight in his group project according to his fellow group members, did not see the anvil coming from the top of Marquette Hall.

“I was just minding my own business, not contributing to my group project, when all of a sudden this 10,000-pound black, cartoon anvil came and smushed me,” Drake said. “Thankfully, it did not interrupt me from getting anything done because I was not contributing to my group project.”

Drake’s other group members said they were unaware that Drake was struck with the anvil, as they had not seen him in weeks and he has not returned their emails or texts.

“We had no idea he was smushed by an anvil,” Samantha Henry, senior in the College of Business Administration, told the Turnip in an exclusive interview on the top of Marquette Hall. “He’s bad at keeping in touch.”

Drake is now being treated at Aurora Sinai Medical Center for anvil-induced smush wounds. He immediately contacted his group members to tell them that is the reason he will not be participating in the group project the next two weeks.

“This hospital excuse follows the visiting family in Florida excuse, the brother’s birthday excuse, the stomach flu excuse, and the visiting family in Antarctica excuse,” Aaron Barnes, senior in the College of Business Administration, told the Turnip in an exclusive interview on the top of Marquette Hall. “Not sure how he got hit by an anvil though.”

Drake had previously dodged several cartoon grand pianos falling off multiple buildings on Wisconsin Avenue, all while not contributing to his group project.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Leave a Comment

If you want a picture to show with your comment, go get a gravatar.




Navigate Left
  • Student not contributing to group project gets hit by anvil

    Blogs

    An open letter to open letters: Stop

  • Student not contributing to group project gets hit by anvil

    Blogs

    Bucks unveil $5 gagillion arena, move to Seattle anyway to take dean position

  • Student not contributing to group project gets hit by anvil

    Blogs

    BREAKING: MU to close down as university at end of academic year, reopen as giant bagel shop

  • Student not contributing to group project gets hit by anvil

    Blogs

    RESULTS: Tournament of Things Elite Eight

  • Student not contributing to group project gets hit by anvil

    Blogs

    RESULTS: Tournament of Things Sweet 16

  • Student not contributing to group project gets hit by anvil

    Blogs

    RESULTS: Second round of Tournament of Things

  • Student not contributing to group project gets hit by anvil

    Blogs

    RESULTS: First round of Tournament of Things

  • Student not contributing to group project gets hit by anvil

    Blogs

    Joan of Arc Chapel wins Turnip’s first annual Tournament of Things

  • Student not contributing to group project gets hit by anvil

    Blogs

    Pete Green releases Powerpoint plan for MU

  • Student not contributing to group project gets hit by anvil

    Blogs

    MUSG subpoenas Pete Green’s private emails, emails reveal he loves freedom

Navigate Right