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Marquette Wire

The student news site of Marquette University

Marquette Wire

The student news site of Marquette University

Marquette Wire

April Fools’ Day Survival Guide

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The days of April have finally arrived. With them comes warmer weather, blooming flowers, greener grass and our first taste of spring. But before we get to take in all of its joys and happiness, we must first suffer through one day.

On that day, lines are crossed, mischief is encouraged and friendships are tested. It is the day when everyone must be on guard, and no one is safe. It is the day of April Fools. Here is Marquee’s eight survival tips for surviving the next 24-hours.

1) Sleep with one eye open.

Nothing good happens when you’re sleeping during April Fools’ Day. It is where you are most vulnerable and where your friends will take the most advantage of pranking you. You either wake up surrounded by various objects, such as cups of water or mouse traps, or you’re bound to have a drawn-on mustache or whiskers of some sort.

“You should even avoid doing naps during April Fools Day. You’re just setting yourself up,” said Teresa Lipowski, a sophomore in the College of Communication. “Sleeping with one eye open is a must.”

2) Bathrooms are dangerous.

Bathrooms are the easiest place to pull off a prank, which is why it makes them the most dangerous. From plastic wrap around the toilet seat, to your shampoos, soap and other toiletries being tampered with, nothing is safe, not even your toilet paper. So be sure to check your toilet paper roll before using the toilet.

Also check the showerhead before turning on the shower. Anyone could simply turn the shower head facing you, which means when you first turn it on, you will receive a nice downpour of cold water to start your day.

3) Food must be checked before consumption – and then checked again.

Basically, expect that all of your food as been tampered with. On a day like April Fools’ Day, sugar is salt, ketchup is hot sauce and water is vodka. Take a minor sample of anything you decide to consume before diving into any food or drink.

“If someone gives you an Oreo and it smells minty or the frosting looks questionable, don’t eat it,” said Aubrey Murtha, a freshman in the College of Education. “Toothpaste can sometimes be poisonous if ingested.”

4) Best friends are now worst enemies.

No one can prank you as well as your best friends. They know your fears, secrets and most importantly, how far they can push you. On April 1, your friends are your worst enemies. Just remember that your friendship is more important than any prank.

“It’s important to have fun with it, especially with your friends,” said Corey Lemay, a sophomore in the College of Engineering, “but don’t dish it out if you can’t take it.”

5) Professors are liars, but go with it.

This may be the trickiest part of your April Fools’ Day. If you walk into class and your teacher says you have a surprise quiz, it could very well be a fun prank and result in a fake exam, or an actual exam that you will just have to categorize as a fail.

When in doubt, take everything they say as the truth. If you get an email on April Fools’ Day saying class is canceled, then class is canceled. It is also recommended not to open up the second email from the teacher saying, “April Fools. Class isn’t really canceled.”

6) Lock your door.

If you’re not in your room, lock your door. The easiest targets are those who leave their rooms wide open for pranksters to attack. There’s nothing worse than coming back from a long exhausting class to a room covered in toilet paper, or a room filled with cups of water covering your entire floor.

Whether your room is completely silly-stringed or your furniture is turned upside-down, you deserve it if you left your room unlocked.

7) Expect loud noises.

This rule is short and sweet. Loud noises are in evitable. April Fools’ Day is full of air horns, firecrackers, loud banging pans and a lot of screaming. There is no getting around it. Loud noises are something you simply must accept for one day.

8) Keep a good sense of humor.

Jokes and pranks are going to happen. You can try to make it all day without falling victim to one of them, but in all honesty, your luck is bound to run out. So accept the pranks if they happen and understand that it is all out of good fun. If a prank seems to cross the line, don’t worry; you have until the end of the day for revenge.

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