Marquette Wire

12 Online lists you’re not missing out on: A satire

Photo+by+Matthew+Serafin%2Fmatthew.serafin%40mu.edu
Photo by Matthew Serafin/matthew.serafin@mu.edu

Photo by Matthew Serafin/matthew.serafin@mu.edu

Photo by Doug Peters

Photo by Doug Peters

Photo by Matthew Serafin/matthew.serafin@mu.edu

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Quarter life crisis, am I right? With long nights of working alone with my third Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte of the day, to my parents throwing shade across the table every time a relative asks me my plans for after graduation, the anxiety is actually insane. In search for inspiration, I found these Buzzfeed and Elite Daily articles and quizzes that are literally perfect.

  1. “Can We Guess Your Taste in Men Based on Your Taste in Potatoes?”

I got the boy next door, and I couldn’t agree more. I value chivalry and romanticism, but also mayonnaise on my skinless French fries. I always thought these factors were completely unrelated, but great to know I can have my fries and eat them too with my future prince.

  1. “Instagram Just Made Your Life So Much Easier”

Instagram now allows portrait and landscape photos. I’ll finally sleep at night again.

  1. “22 Signs Your Dog’s An Introvert”

My dog is only showing 18 of the signs, but definitely worth a read. I always thought I was doing Charlie a favor bringing him to play with the neighbor dogs, but maybe he energizes through personal reflection. It’s something to consider.

  1. “#SquadGoals: 11 Specific Things Only You and Your Crew will Understand”

This one really pointed out some communication problems within my squad. At this point, we do not have a squad group text. Though some might think group messages are annoying to those not involved in the conversation, it’s clear that they keep the entire squad in sync. What’s your squad goal for the week?

  1. “Why You Shouldn’t Sabotage New Relationships in Fear of Getting Hurt”

Recently, I have been sabotaging my relationship with every new person that has come into my life, and they ended up not liking me. I feel like I’m giving them my all, yet still getting hurt. Sometimes it’s useful to be reminded to be nice. You never know what might happen!

  1. “#FashionistaProblems: 18 Struggles Girls Have When Getting Dressed Alone”

This. Right. Here. Turns out getting dressed alone in the morning might actually bring out your true style sense.

  1. “Christian Louboutin Has a New Line of Lipsticks and It’s Breathtaking”

I actually lost my breath looking at these tubes of lipstick. Literally, all I could think was “breathtaking.” These are shades of red Covergirl has not thought of. It’s really cool that Louboutin doesn’t even have to advertise when they introduce a new product line. To quote every marketing 101 class, what a strong brand image.

  1. “What It’s Like Being Courted by More Than One Person at a Time”

It’s a serious issue that no one is talking about. There’s only one dowry, after all.

  1. “33 Impossibly Cute Ways to Cover Your Body in Books”

This could be a possible wardrobe revamp after discovering your true style (see #6). One step closer to not sabotaging your new relationship (see #5).

  1. “Meet the Hottest Mushroom Farmer in the World”

Apparently I’m more of a potato farmer boy-next-door type gal, but it’s certainly not terrible to look.

“18 Struggles Only Socially Outgoing Introverts Understand”

Now I didn’t understand all 18 struggles, but I did understand 15 of them. The only problem is I’m not sure which struggles correspond to introverts, and which correspond to outgoing people. It’s a struggle in itself. I’ll have to re-read.

  1. “27 Ways to Create the Perfect Travel-Inspired Nursery”

It’s always fun to have something to look forward to. Being able to travel the world and having kids fit perfectly together, so this is too cute to not share.

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