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British wedding merchandise a royal pain

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Westminster Abbey, pictured above, will be the location of Prince William's April 29 marriage to Kate Middleton.

OK, confession time: I loved everything about Princess Diana. From her beauty to her amazing fashion sense, to me, she was the real life Disney Princess, and she was amazing.

So like most every girl on the face of the planet, when we saw how her son Prince William grew up, we were about ready to jump the first flight over to the U.K. for our chance at becoming the successor to Diana’s Disney-esque legacy.

Of course, Prince William decided that none of us, not even Mia Thermopolis, was good enough when he announced to the world that he was marrying Kate Middleton earlier this year. For awhile, I was sad seeing my opportunity to become the next Cinderella floating out the door, but eventually I somehow managed to move on.

Until I saw all the wedding memorabilia.

It started off slow. A little picture here, a postcard or two here, nothing to worry about. Then it snowballed into this series of craziness.

There are Kate Middleton and Prince William throw-up bags. Beers and nail decals. Cell phone skins and fine dinnerware. You can even get a refrigerator complete with a giant picture of the two lovebirds smiling and hugging. Who wouldn’t want to see that on the way to their morning coffee?

You’re not safe if you go out for coffee either. Dunkin’ Donuts, one of the most prominent groups getting in on the action, is offering patrons a Royal Wedding Donut, shaped like a heart and filled with a sweet red jelly, from April 24 to 29.

Hand me my royal wedding barf bag real quick.

I understand the wedding, set for April 29, may be the biggest social event of the season for the U.K., but that’s no reason to go royal-kitsch-crazy. Let’s face it: Our love for the royal family will soon fade, much like my desire to marry Prince William, and then what will you be left with?

After all, imagine how depressed someone with a Beanie Baby-themed kitchen is these days.

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