Winter is coming to an end … hopefully. Before it’s over, we must celebrate the end of the season with the ultimate winter activity: sledding. Initially, sledding doesn’t sound too intense, but that’s only because few ever push it to the limit. That’s the beauty of sledding; it is what you make it.

Back in high school, my friends and I would go “extreme sledding,” a variant on traditional sledding where the end of the night always included breaking something: a sled, an ankle or your landing with the body of a fellow sledder. But sledding shouldn’t just be for kids. I wanted to experiment with sledding at the college level.

I decided to venture out on campus alone because this was merely an experiment. And because I don’t have a car. And because nobody wanted to go with me. Apparently, there are better things to do on a Saturday night, like watch “Employee of the Month,” according to my friend Scott. Thanks, buddy.

I chose the small hill near Helfaer Theatre as the experiment hill. With permission, I acquired five “college-related” vehicles: a florescent pink plastic toboggan belonging to a Milwaukee County resident, an empty pizza box, a cafeteria tray, a bar stool and my tax returns.

I set out on foot to this hill, sadly dragging the toboggan behind me. The obnoxious sound of plastic dragging on cement made me want to punch every sound wave in the face. Eventually, I arrived at the hill, carved out a path, and conducted the experiment. Here are the results:

(1) Florescent pink toboggan

Of course, this method of sledding transportation was very successful — minus the fact that, no matter where I aimed the nose of the sled, it always traveled straight into the only light pole in a three-mile radius.

(2) Empty pizza box

This did not work as well as I thought it would. And by that, I mean it didn’t move at all. If you’re going to use cardboard, you’re going to have to use something with a smoother and glossier label. So you have to be 21 to get your hands on a legit cardboard sled, if you know what I mean.

(3) Cafeteria tray

This “sled” came in a very close second to the toboggan. The only problem was that it only allowed my feet to be shoulder-width apart. So, I ended up standing on a tray about to scoot down a small yet steep hill. If it wasn’t my torso that smashed into earth, it was my tailbone.

(4) Bar stool

This was a horrible idea. There is no way to ride a barstool. Yeah, you can flip it over and stand or sit in the center while holding onto the legs, but the second you roll you have no way to stop it. Nor is there any way to stop the bench from destroying your face once you reach the bottom of the hill.

(5) My tax returns

Contrary to popular belief, tax returns are not the slickest surfaces available. But they are really good at reminding me how many worthless jobs I held during  2009. As I barreled down the small hill with my tax returns flying all around me, I cracked a smile. Even though I’m months away from graduating and entering the real-people world, I can still have a little bit of fun — even if it does involve multiple abrasions.