You know you have a procrastination problem when you wait until the last minute to do things you enjoy.

For me this week, it's planning my Halloween costume. Oh sure, I had grandiose plans of spending hours at Value Village browsing the aisles until I was struck by the muse of clever costume ideas. I even thought of dressing up like Zero (the polar bear at the Milwaukee County Zoo who has been too lazy to leave the moat he fell into two weeks ago) by utilizing a girl's white parka and a carefully engineered structure of cardboard. Fearing that would take up space at already crowded gatherings that night, I put away my T-square and ignored the looming deadline.

But now it's crunch time, and there's extra credit if I dress up for class, so I must bring the goods.

Frantically, I scan my apartment for supplies: face paint, wigs, putty noses, stupid glasses, even a witty T-shirt. Nothing. There is, however, that big stack of Marquette Tribunes that I have enshrined in my bedroom. Screw the sacred journalistic arts, this is an emergency.

We at the Trib are always looking to be a resource for the Marquette community. If news, reviews, calendars, viewpoints, pictures and hours upon friggin' hours of painstaking labor, blood, sweat and tears aren't your thing, perhaps our newsprint could be of value to you. Be grateful.

With some creativity and a little help from my friends at Google, I've developed a list of costumes made from newspapers that are sure to make you the talk of the party.** I do caution that they are highly flammable, so be sure to steer clear from any jack-o-lanterns, seance candles or flaming shots.

Wrapped fish

For the especially last minute trick-or-treater, simply cover your torso in the Trib like I do when I'm overwhelmed with affection for it. Add a little tape to hold it together and walk around for the night with a fish face. When people ask what you're wearing, add a little flair to the costume by spitting your beverage in their faces. For the fish-phobics, this costume can be modified to be a Jimmy John's sub with just a little masking tape or into a flower bouquet with some flowers.

Puppy puddle

A slightly more ambitious version of the wrapped fish, use a yellow marker or highlighter to draw a big splotch in the middle of your costume. No need to rub your nose in it when you're done. After absorbing the inevitable spilled drinks, this costume will only be enhanced as the night goes on. Fake pet stains are preferable.

Sailor/pirate/50s diner boy

Regress back to your Barney-watching days and fold yourself an origami newspaper hat. They're easy if you look for instructions online, and there are many varieties of hats to suit your interests. A newspaper sombrero turns a dull Halloween party into a Halloween fiesta!

Geisha

Ladies who want to look hot in their costume can fan themselves off with a Trib folded accordion-style. Done-up hair, too much makeup and a drowsy facial expression will easily fit Halloween night on a college campus.

Jack "Cowboy" Kelly

Remember when Christian Bale tap-danced the alleys of New York long before he cruised the streets of Gotham? Don poor man's clothes and a horrible Brooklyn accent while distributing copies of the Trib to bring this "Newsies" character to life. Ability to sing in tune is optional, just like the movie.

Statue of Liberty

Combining two of college's most recognized symbols — the toga and something on fire — you can be a beacon of enlightenment to the tired, poor, huddled masses yearning to stop puking long enough to call a LIMO.

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