The two male Iowa State University students saying "I Do" has seemed to elicit one of two responses including: "I Do.want to end all legal opportunities for America's greatest sin: single-sex marriage," or "I Do Not.care, let them do whatever they want.,”Political issues being talked about on campus right now are centered on one issue: gay marriage.

The two male Iowa State University students saying "I Do" has seemed to elicit one of two responses including: "I Do.want to end all legal opportunities for America's greatest sin: single-sex marriage," or "I Do Not.care, let them do whatever they want."

In case you don't understand, let me explain the grave risks of allowing gay marriage. You see, some pseudo-right-wingers suggest gay marriage will merely undermine the fundamental family values that hold our country from falling apart.

But right-wing extremists like myse.(haha, sorry I couldn't even get through that), know the truth: Gay Marriage is what caused the extinction of the dinosaurs.

Furthermore, if we merely allow the Iowa Supreme Court to give marriage certificates to homosexual couples (whether it is their constitutional right or not) then we will meet the same fate as the dinosaurs; the blood and molten lava will run in the rivers and God will turn every Democratic supporter of Gay Marriage into a pillar of salt.

Here's my question: how can a gay marriage possibly be any less legitimate than a Jennifer Lopez marriage?

But, believe it or not, this column is not to discuss the ridiculous nature of the current (and yet, same old) gay marriage debate. It's about something actually worth discussing — the fact that University Provost Madeline Wake has resigned.

Maybe some of you don't care for Wake. Maybe you've criticized decisions she's made and maybe you don't even know who she is and don't care that she's resigning as provost.

I admit I've criticized Wake before, partly because she deserved it and partly because the administration is such an easy target. But that doesn't change the fact that she's done more for this university than most others.

Besides being the first high-ranking female administrator at Marquette, she has led the university to far-reaching advances in adding more foreign languages and increasing study abroad opportunities, and she performed the very measly task of honestly caring for every Marquette student she ever met.

What bothers me the most is that every faculty and administrator I've talked to has said that Wake's resignation, or dismissal — whichever is more true, was so abrupt.

I'm inclined to blame George W. Bush or Enron. I don't know what they did, but my experience is that all semi-successful conspiracy theories connect to George W. or Enron in some way.

I really hope that the other whispered theory on her resignation, namely that she feels the Marquette mighty four (University President the Rev. Robert A. Wild, Greg Kliebhan, Art Scheuber and Toby Peters) no longer respect her enough for her to remain at the position, is just a rumor.

I really hope there's no real merit in the whispered theory, because if it is true then we are going to have a lot of major problems here in the future. What, with the infallible job the mighty four always do.

Just about everyone who cares enough to pay attention gets infuriated with the fact that the former mighty five at Marquette all too often make major decisions without eliciting student or faculty opinion.

Frankly, this reporter wishes that Wake wouldn't resign — and provost, please realize this is the best compliment I've ever given an administrator.

But, to my fellow students, let me offer this warning: with Wake — the mighty five's most heartfelt member — resigning, we had better get used to a lot more decisions being made without so much as asking our opinion.

“