It's Hump Day, Congratulations!

We've made it to the middle of the week, Wednesday, or as some have come to know it – hump day.

The day of the week that you just try to survive so that when you leave work you can say you're over the hump and it's almost the weekend. Yay!

Today is not just your every week ordinary Hump Day, it is the last Hump Day of August, the National Cat Fish Month.

That's right, National Cat Fish Month.

And I would joke about that, but the fact that America dedicates a month to a fish with whiskers pretty much stands by itself.

Where do these goofy holidays come from? I'm not really sure, but www.earthcalendar.net must know because they highlight a lot of them.

Because no self-respecting Marquette students has time to waste surfing Web sites that hold no personal merit or scholastic value like Earth Calendar, or Facebook, or MySpace, or College Humor, or YouTube or…I'm sorry I seem to have digressed from my point.

I know none of us hard-working Marquette students have the time to look up ridiculous and meaningless holidays, so I'll bring some of my favorites to you.

January marks not just the first month of a new year, but also the only month that includes a battle of the breakfast foods, as it is both the "Oatmeal Month" sponsored by Quaker Oats and the "Prune Breakfast Month" sponsored by the California Dried Plum Board.

I don't know what's more disturbing: the fact that there's a California Dried Plum Board or the fact that they've been allowed to dedicate a month to prunes.

The month of March is dedicated as "Adopt a Rescued Guinea Pig Month," and, on a more serious note, the first full week of March is the "National Drug & Alcohol Awareness Week."

Why do kids use drugs anyway? Maybe it's because there's an entire month dedicated to rescuing guinea pigs and only a week for substance abuse awareness.

April includes both the "National Lingerie Week," and "Canada Book Week," neither of which I understand. Lingerie is about intimacy, so the whole idea of a sanctioned week to increase transparency of lingerie is almost as baffling to me as the notion of a Canadian novel.

For the insomniacs reading this piece, you may be interested in knowing the Better Sleep Council has dedicated May as the "Better Sleep Month."

Apparently, the Better Sleep Council believes the first month of spring is the best time to avoid the outdoors and lie in bed. Interesting logic.

Thursday is "St. Rose of Lima Day" in Peru and St. Lucia. Which basically amounts to a day of sacred remembrance of the beautiful patroness saint of all Latin America, and here in the United States it amounts to…Thursday.

Thursday, which means we'll be over the hump and almost to the weekend. Yay!

On a personal note, this is the first of many Hump Day articles for me as, from today on, every Wednesday there will be a new online exclusive of my column. So tell your friends to tune in next Hump Day for my translation of recent Marquette Student Government and administration gibberish.