The women in front of us were particularly slow – you know, the ones who take five minutes to order because they're asking questions like, "Is there cinnamon in the cinnamon mocha?" and "Can I get that with skim milk?"

After asking us if we are in line (no, we just like to stand behind other people and watch them order), the woman behind us proceeded to budge up to the cash register anyway and start ordering with the slow women, who turned out to be her friends.,”

One rainy afternoon, my roommate and I were waiting in line at Starbucks. The women in front of us were particularly slow – you know, the ones who take five minutes to order because they're asking questions like, "Is there cinnamon in the cinnamon mocha?" and "Can I get that with skim milk?"

After asking us if we were in line (no, we just like to stand behind other people and watch them order), the woman behind us proceeded to budge toward the cash register anyway and start ordering with the slow women, who turned out to be her friends.

Just as my roommate and I were exchanging a did-that-actually-just-happen look, one of the slow women turned around to us and cooed in the most condescending tone, "You don't mind, do you?"

If there's one thing I hate, it's being spoken to like a third grader.

My first instinct was to snap, "You don't mind if I say yes, do you?"

But of course, my socially ingrained desire to avoid conflict won out and I think I replied with something like, "Oh, of course not!"

Perhaps this is a small thing to get upset about, but as I continued to meditate on it over the next couple of days, I realized I all too often let norms and my ever-present desire to be socially/politically correct prevent me from being assertive. Granted, my whiny Starbucks comeback is probably not the best example of assertion, but given the slowness of these women in line and the fact that they asked to skip ahead as a haughty afterthought, I think I would've been justified in saying no (in a more polite manner, of course).

Today, my friends, I invite you all to say no to social norms. At least the stupid ones. By the power vested in me as, well, an average person, I pronounce April 12, 2007, the first ever Defy Social Norms Day.

How does one celebrate Defy Social Norms Day, you ask? There are two principal ways to spend this most glorious of days: The first involves actually standing up for yourself and simply being assertive, and the second involves being socially awkward and reveling in the weird looks you get. I personally plan to do both.

Here are some suggestions for celebrating your defiance on the assertion route:

1. Take a cue from Nancy Reagan and "Just Say No!" If someone asks you for something unreasonable, don't be afraid to be honest. This is not to say we should forget what we learned in kindergarten and stop sharing or helping others, but we live in a world where "no" is practically a dirty word. No one wants to give a negative answer because it can create conflict. And boy do we hate conflict. On Defy Social Norms Day, if someone asks you something rudely – a la slow-budging Starbucks woman – politely speak your mind. If someone asks you for something outrageous, don't feel like you have to cave.

2. Tell your best friend/roommate/girlfriend/dad if there's something that's been bothering you lately. Unspoken qualms, from minor annoyances to serious problems, are often suppressed because we don't want to deal with the initial discomfort of facing them. But we all know that the issues under the surface can destroy relationships if left unaddressed for too long. Things have a way of eventually boiling over. So on Defy Social Norms Day, step into the discomfort zone and be honest. It's quite possible your relationship will be better off for it.

These methods of defying social norms just might make you more comfortable in your own skin. But if you want to celebrate the holiday but making other people uncomfortable in theirs, here are some more lighthearted deviant things to try:

1. Stand facing someone in the elevator. You know the unspoken rules that dictate everyone in the elevator must space themselves out evenly and face the front? Watch someone squirm and try to scoot away from you when you throw the balance off.

2. Respond lengthily when someone asks, "How are you?" Instead of the usual "Fine" that we toss back and forth, go into a story about how you woke up with the biggest zit ever on your forehead and ask them if they can still see it. Or something.

3. Rock out in your car – particularly if you are alone. I personally do this anyway, but today I'm going to be even less inhibited in my classic renditions of "Gangsta's Paradise" and "Get Low."

4. When someone asks you a question like, "Do you know what time it is?" simply respond, "Yes."

Social norms exist from a reason; they keep me from acting like a crazy elevator-center-facing, over-sharing, rapping smart aleck on a daily basis. But they also sometimes keep us from being real.

So for better or worse, I intend to embrace Defy Social Norms Day, and I hope you do too. And if you have any suggestions or stories about ways to defy, please shoot me a socially awkward e-mail.

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