At 16, this seemed like a smart idea. We both loved reading and Scrabble and playing cards – yes, I was really cool in high school – so who cared if we weren't the loves of each other's lives? After all, it was only a backup.,”
My high school boyfriend and I once made a deal that if both of us were single when we turned 30, we'd get married.
At 16, this seemed like a smart idea. We both loved reading and Scrabble and playing cards – yes, I was really cool in high school – so who cared if we weren't the loves of each other's lives? After all, it was only a backup.
I have always been a planner and I like having a sense of security. But lately the backup epidemic has gotten out of hand. It turns out it's not only the crazy Type A people who buy into the whole backup thing, and it's not only our love lives we have backups for. I have friends currently applying to upwards of 10 different graduate, medical or law schools.
Others are interviewing for dozens of backup jobs, and some will end up taking the first one they're offered just to be done with it all.
Backups are necessary. But as we're preparing for graduation, summer jobs, "real" jobs and everything really, it seems like the backup talk has taken the foreground. As nice as a safety net is, it's time to put the focus back on what we really want.
A recent New York Times article reported that the number of high school students applying to at least 12 colleges has increased 50 percent since 2001, and some students applied to as many as 23. That's 22 backups. In the time these students took to fill out the extra application forms, they could've picked up another volunteer activity to add to their resumes for their first choice school.
But of course, that first choice school might not work out. Or maybe we don't even know what our first choice is. So we need backups.
According to the Career Center for Science and Engineering at the University of Minnesota, the average job search after college takes three to six months. And that's for engineers . what about the poor liberal arts kids? No wonder we're scrambling after the first offer that comes our way.
The backup frenzy only escalates as we get older, and we look for backups anywhere we can find them. No undergraduate wants to be without an answer to questions like, "An English major . what are you going to do with that?" Seniors must constantly be prepared for inquisitions about where they'll be living next year, what they'll be doing and how much they'll make for doing it.
And of course, we must always be on guard for my personal favorite question, "So, you engaged yet?"
My English major? Well, I'm applying to law schools. My salary? When I find a job, I'll let you know. My ring finger? Um .
I'm by no means saying we should throw caution to the wind and focus solely on one option. Realistically, the dream job doesn't always come through and that backup will still pay the rent. But we've been told for so long to keep all our options open that we have a hard time finding and pursuing the one thing we really want.
Backup plans are just that – backups. They shouldn't be our focal point. They should be sitting on the backburner while we go about pursuing our first choices.
And even if that means not always having a plan, it also means never having settled.
“