I know you’ve all been waiting for my take on the VMA’s, but I had to take a day to process the atrocities that I witnessed.
First off, I hate to give her any more attention (because it’s exactly what she wants) but MILEY. FREAKIN. CYRUS.
I’m no prude, but I canNOT believe how incredibly INAPPROPRIATE her “performance” was! I’ll break down the outfit first (I am a fashion blogger after all). One, her red carpet look.
PUT YOUR TONGUE AWAY. You are pretty. Smile more. Your long hair used to be SO PRETTY but if you insist on looking like you’ve torn your hair out in a coke binge, at least put it all up. That hair flap in the back is not doing you any favors.
Buzzfeed was nice enough to put together this following article of things Miley looked like (http://bit.ly/16DIi54). She’s so dedicated on not having people see her as a child anymore but GUESS WHAT MILEY, LEGITIMATE ADULTS DO NOT BEHAVE LIKE THIS.
Now we move onto the beginning of her performance. She came out of a giant bear (which she then proceeded to grope) in a bear swimsuit-looking getup.
Sigh. Every time I think I start to like “We Can’t Stop” Miley does some ish like this and I hate her again. And just when I thought it couldn’t get worse, she strips down even MORE into a nude bikini-type outfit to sing “Blurred Lines” with Robin Thicke.
Good Lord. The things she did with that giant foam finger were truly disgusting and awful, and Miley needs to find the Lord and reimburse everyone who wasted valuable time and money watching that awful, awful performance.
This picture of Will Smith and his kids sums up everyone’s reaction to this quite nicely.
I liked Robin Thicke’s pants, only because I have the same ones.
But now that I’ve got that off my chest, let’s look at the hotties of the night:
Selena Gomez continues to make me fall in love with her in this BEAUTIFUL Versace dress.
As Justin Bieber continues to spiral downward, Selena just keeps getting hotter and hotter. Go girl, you deserve better!
Naya Rivera
“OH GOD” (Get it…? Big Sean…)
JUSTIN MOTHERFREAKING TIMBERLAKE
Can I just fangirl for a minute on how AMAZING his performance was?
He’s truly brought sexy back from some of his more..questionable looks from the past (just google Justin Timberlake 1990’s). His outfit and his swagger now is just too much for me to handle. His 20 minute (!!!) performance definitely made up for the horror that was Miley Cyrus, and….
N. F***ING. SYNC.
They were only out there for like a minute but it was truly the best minute of my life. I only wish it would have lasted longer. They can still get it in my book, looking like they hadn’t lost a single move in the many years that have passed since they broke up.
Katy Perry
A former love-hate relationship of mine, I have now officially moved into the permanent “love” category. Loved her red carpet look, loved her performance look, love her.
Lady GaGa
As Kevin Hart said, “Lady GaGa’s got some YAMS!” She looked amazing baring everything in a shell bra and thong, and even though she was wearing even less than Miley, she didn’t do it in such a sexual way. Miley made an embarrassment of the human body while GaGa celebrated it.
Let’s be real, no one else was relevant at the VMAs, so I’m just gonna quit this blog post while I’m ahead.
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