Since I consider myself too old to be watching something called the “Teen Choice Awards”, I figured I’d catch up on the fashion by perusing celeb blogs after the fact. (Just kidding, I was too busy unintentionally drinking beer and getting hit on by 30 year olds, so whichever reason you prefer is the reason I didn’t watch the show live). No worries though, I’m back with a vengeance to praise and critique the best and worst looks of the night.

First off, I’d like to start off with my latest lady crush, Lea Michele.

I SO admire her for how she’s reacted to the death of her boyfriend and costar, Cory Monteith. She has acted with nothing but class and respect, and has even opted to continue their show, Glee, in spite of Ryan Murphy’s original thoughts to cancel it. Lea looks beautiful and very appropriate for an event geared towards younger viewers, and delivered an extremely heartfelt speech to her fans for their support. She wins my best of the night, not just for her outfit but for her strength and heart.

Other lady crushes of the night included:

1. Nina Dobrev

Just…WOW.

2. Michelle Rodriguez

Girrrl what rock did you come out from under? Stay out here in the light with the rest of us and keep doin you, boo!

3. Sandra Bullock

I just really want to be her…and have her son, Louis.

4. Whoever these British ladies are

I would wear every single one of those outfits. Except for the dress with “Holy Chic” written on it because she just looks ridiculous. Meowch.

5. Demi Lovato

DEMI, girl you look goooooood! What I would give to raid her closet!

6. Selena Gomez

I can’t decide if she’s a woman crush or not because I go back and forth between liking this outfit and thinking it looks like a pee-pee flap that Tarzan would wear, but she’s a hottie regardless.

7. Miley Cyrus

I’m also going back and forth between her outfit because I kind of hate her sometimes (see “We Can’t Stop” video) but I can’t deny her swag. And the fact that she’s wearing lots of leather helps her case, since I pretty much can’t turn down anything leather.

Speaking of leather, hellooooo Miguel. I’m getting a dirty, S&M type vibe from this outfit and all I can say is, when are you free to come over, boo boo? To, um, help me clean, I mean.

After I’m finished with Miguel–I mean cleaning with Miguel–Nick Jonas can help me come over and..do my laundry. He can use those wonderful muscles of his to carry my clothes up and down the stairs from the laundry room, and we can find something fun to do while they’re in the wash.

And now onto the bad of the night.

1. Ed Sheeran

One, you lose points because I’m pretty sure you were/are linked to Taylor Swift, so that’s a problem. Two, if you’re gonna be a ginger, at least dress well so we have something to distract us from that unruly mop you have atop your head. (You have a wonderful voice though, and I’m sure you’re a very nice person.)

I don’t really know who these young ladies are but please throw these awful things away. You are both much to gorgeous to be wearing such heinous outfits.

(After further research, I discovered they are Hailee Steinfeld and Ashely Benson, respectively.)

I’m not really sure who Anna Camp is either, but she looks more like a figure skater than an actress or singer or whatever. Love the sock bun, though.

Overall, if that’s the worst of the worst, it’s really not all that bad. Bravo, Teen Choice Awards. I may be too old for you, but I will be taking some style tips from these lovely ladies (as well as having some fun dreams from the men).

All pictures courtesy of the wonderful cocoperez.com.