"Life's not fair." Yeah, yeah I've heard it all before. "Life's not fair." But some things go beyond life not being fair. Some things reach so astronomically farther than that old time axiom that it's, well, not fair.

Some things are so unfair you just want to explode. Some times things happen that are so annoying, so inexplicable, you want to track the "Life's not fair" guy down and ask him if this is covered by that saying.

I can accept the normal shortcomings of life. You know, good looking people have it easier; money doesn't grow on trees; sometimes a semi-truck splashes water from a recent rain all over your nice new suit.

But what I am not willing to accept is the recent outcome of Wisconsin's Powerball drawing. I'll move past the fact that I lost the drawing even though I had the perfect combination of birthdays and anniversaries. I mean, what are the odds I wouldn't win, right?

Who gets a share of the richest pot ever in a lottery? Was it a homeless person? Too good to be true. A family of five scraping to make ends meet? A little less sappy but still no dice. Was it even some guy who's kind of well off and decided to buy his first ever lottery ticket? Of course not.

It was a (bleeping) senator! What in the name of Samuel Gompers is going on when a senator wins $853,000 and change from a lottery? Where is the justice? I'll tell you where, at the bottom of the Mediterranean Sea.

Sen. Judd Gregg from New Hampshire won a share of the largest lottery pot ever. He decided while filling up his tank of gas that it was too expensive. So his solution wasn't to think of legislation to help ease the rise in gas prices. It was to buy a lottery ticket. And then he wins. He (bleeping) wins.

Then this guy has the nerve to complain that his colleagues "are tormenting" him about wanting some of the money. There isn't anyone in the country that doesn't want some of that money, Judd. I can just see this jerk at home with his wife right now.

Senator: "I've got terrible news dear, we won the lottery."

Wife: "Are you kidding me? That's great!"

Senator: "No! Now the other senators are going to razz me on the committee. I hate my life."

Seriously, what is going on? This guy is the King of I-should-never-be-allowed-to-win-the-lotteryville. And what does he do? He goes out and wins the lottery. In the words of Barbara Mandrell, "It's a shame, it's a downright disgrace."

Life can take some jaded twists and turns, but this is by far the most insulting one since I got in the car. Look, I'm a realistic guy. I know things don't always work out the way we want. In fact, things rarely go according to plan (I'm a big Murphy's law fan).

This is one thing that should never, ever be allowed to happen again. Quite frankly, there should be an immediate ban placed on senators or congressmen from buying tickets at all. Hopefully, Gregg can lead the charge on this one. After all, he is a surviving lottery victim. He knows better than anyone the mental trauma caused by free money.

This viewpoint was published in The Marquette Tribune on October 25, 2005.