California may be gearing up for another wild gubernatorial race in 2006. It may not involve Gary Coleman, a former pornography star or a slue of other random people. But it would have a terminator…and Dick Tracy.

There has been a lot of attention heaped upon Warren Beatty in recent weeks. He has been cruising around California and slamming the governor at every event he attends. Just last week he said Arnold's promises of reforms are nothing more than "fake events and fake issues."

This garnered a childish response from the man who stole Christmas from Sinbad's child. "He throws my name in (to speeches) so people will write about it," Schwarzenegger said in response to Beatty's consistent jabbing. So I think it's about time we started fantasizing about this dream match up.

It's clear both men would have to dress up in garb from their most memorable roles. That means you'd have Arnold riding into debates on a motorcycle with a loaded double-barrel shotgun. But don't count Beatty out just yet. He'd have that intimidating yellow trench coat and an old school Tommy-gun. And as mean and powerful as that machine from "Terminator 2" was, I wouldn't call Prune Face and Lips pushovers.

It wouldn't even be a political race. It would be an action movie. I can see the plot now. Arnold is the evil governor running a gambling ring in the Governor's office. Beatty is the crusty cop that won't take bribes to look the other way. He could get together a band of vigilante renegades who want to see California returned back to the people.

Arnold will do anything to keep his job, and gambling ring alive. So he employs the Predator as a hit man to "send a message" to Beatty. The Predator and Beatty rumble in the streets of Los Angeles until, of course, Beatty wins in a wildly destructive fiasco.

Then the final scene makes its way to the Austrian Oak's mansion. Beatty's vigilante friends have all met tragic fates. He is fighting to justify their death. Arnold is fighting for his job. Of course the entire governor's mansion would have to be engulfed in flames before one of them stood over the other's mangled body in triumph. It's everything we want from a ridiculous action movie.

You can see this would be a dream match-up. Two lousy actors vying for a state that's in terrible shape. It's sexy, it's ridiculous, it's shameful. It's California. Would Arnold terminate Beatty? Would Beatty lock Arnold in a political jail? Let's hope we get to find out. Otherwise we'll be stuck with two serious politicians trying to resurrect California. That would be awful.

This viewpoint was published in The Marquette Tribune on September 27, 2005.