More Than A Feeling

I can't wait until the weather gets cold. In all honesty, I'm really sick of the summer season, when women's fashion is dominated by skimpy clothing that tests the limits of how much skin can appropriately be shown in public.

I was sitting in class the other day and I was surrounded by short skirts, sparkly tube tops, bare midriffs, peek-a-boo thongs and stiletto heels. I looked down at my own t-shirt, old jeans and sneakers and I felt seriously underdressed.

Mind you this was in an early-morning class and my hair was still soaking from the shower. Many of the women surrounding me looked as though they had primped for hours and were getting ready to participate in a Paris Hilton dress-alike contest.

That sort of clothing — cheap as it makes a woman look — is perfectly acceptable for a night out at Renee Row, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and say I don't think it's at all appropriate for class. I know you girls are old enough to dress yourselves, but would it kill you to use a little judgement and common sense? I mean, hell, if you're dressed like a character from a late night Cinemax movie or you look like you just walked out of a Snoop Dogg video when you go to class, you should probably cover up a little. That's just my humble opinion.

I was complaining to some of my male friends about this whore-ible dilemma when I was informed by them that men actually like it when women wear minimal clothing to class. I had one male tell me that he and his roommate used to hate going to their early morning class, but one of them would always remind the other that getting up was worth it just to see what the "hot girl" was wearing.

Another friend told me that in his 9 a.m. class he has scantily dressed females to his left, right and in front of him. He claims being in the "circle of hotness" helps him stay awake through his class.

The men have spoken. I guess I was wrong. If people actually listened to what I had to say and decided to dress a bit more conservatively, we might have fewer males coming to class every day. I fear for these ladies though, because what are they going to do when the weather gets cold? You can't wear a halter top when it's 40 degrees outside.

This seems like quite the dilemma. However, I have faith in you girls. You'll find a way. I mean, if you can walk to class in those heels and manage to wear a tube top without inadvertently flashing someone, I believe that you will find a way to continue dressing slutty well into the winter — which will keep our boys coming to class. Screw feminism. You ladies are skank-o-liciously awesome.

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