Education is a continuous process. Unlike college students, education doesn't take a winter break. It keeps teaching and teaching and teaching regardless of where we are or what season it is. Here are some of the things I learned over my winter break.

1. I do not have the ability to lift a 350-pound reel of cable. This, sadly, should have been self-evident. However, it took a broken wrist to firmly assert this fact.

2. For a long time I believed that George Michael was the king of uber-awful music videos. If my faith ever wavered I went right back to the "Careless Whispers" music video and re-affirmed my belief. Then I downloaded the "Total Eclipse of the Heart" music video. Whoa! This has Bonnie Tyler in a flowing see-through white dress, kids in knickers, dancing ninjas and a dove. Talk about awful. Actually, I just threw up a little in my mouth, thinking about Bonnie Tyler and kids in knickers. Come to think of it, isn't that border line illegal…

3. President Bush has officially become the most powerful president since Andrew Jackson.

G.W.B.: What do you mean I need a court warrant to listen to phone conversations?!

Voice of reason (assuming there is one): Well, sir, it violates a number of constitutional…

G.W.B.: Forget the constitution. There is no constitution. From now on this country is a game of Dubya says. Dubya says tap phones and intercept e-mail. Dubya says do it now!

I'm actually all for these wiretaps. The people whining about them are the same people who whined that we didn't have enough intelligence about 9/11. I just wish he had done it with a little more tact. Unless I'm the only one under the impression these were secret wiretaps. Did I black out the day they changed the meaning of secret? Anyone?

4. Stop means stop. A neighborhood in Illinois is putting signs under stop signs that read "Stop means stop." That was a good one to learn. For the last five years I thought stop actually meant "barrel down the street at 45 miles per hour and pray some kid doesn't come out of nowhere."

5. Marquette just doesn't get it when it comes to bad press. Giving in to mounting pressure from, well, the nation, the university reduced the sentence of the dental student who dared to speak his mind in a public forum. This one is directed right at the Rev. Robert A. Wild. Please sir, take money from some endowment and hire a "consequences consultant." Please. I am tired of looking at my gym shoes and muttering "Marquette" when people ask where I go to school.

6. This column is in sore need of a mailbag. So I am officially creating one. E-mail any questions you have. I don't care how ridiculous they are. E-mail me about Tom Selleck's mustache from Magnum P.I. E-mail me about current political situations. No question is too big or too small for this columnist. Be as insulting as you want. I don't care. Just hit me up at my eMarq account. Dubya says e-mail me. Dubya says do it now!