There is so much going on at Marquette and in Milwaukee this week. So I decided it would be a good idea to throw several jabs rather than take one humongous right hook at everything that agitated me. So sit back, hunker down and get ready for a heapin' helpin' of hurtin'.

Where there's smoke…

Secondhand smoke is always a hot button issue on campus. Personally, I don't smoke. Much like Rod and Todd of the Simpsons, I consider cigarettes to be "sin sticks." So I'm all for the bill to end smoking in public places. But it always burns my biscuits to hear people who say "when I go to bars I don't want to harm myself while inhaling secondhand smoke."

That's all well and good. But is the bucket of beer you're taking down really good for your health? I may be wrong here, but I've never really considered Murphy's or Caffrey's bastions of healthy activity. Is there something so wonderful about cirrhosis that it trumps lung cancer? One of life's little ironies I suppose.

"You'll get nothing and like it."

Dan Calandriello, among other MUSG senators, saved the day for all who value their right to vote for Mickey Mouse, Chaka Khan and anyone else they feel would do a good job in Marquette Student Government.

Earlier in the year we nearly suspended a dental student for comments he made on a Weblog. So to fix the negative image it gave the university what do some people in MUSG want to do? Create a rule that says we can't vote for anyone we want. Brilliant! My personal thanks to Dan and everyone else that didn't fall asleep behind the wheel.

It's in the fine print of the lease…

The Gilman, my current place of residence, is finally a "Hate Free Community." Phew! I'm glad $21.00 went towards a yellow and brown reminder that I live in a tolerant place.

Sometimes it's not the actual money, but the principle of the action that agitates me. This is one of those times. What was the point? Were some kids moving out, grumbling to themselves that it wasn't a "Hate Free" community before they moved in? Why not just get 21 singles and set them on fire? It would have been a more entertaining way to waste cash.

Would it kill you say thank you?

Just when I was crawling out of the doghouse for last year's lack of gifts, Valentine's Day strikes again. I despise this holiday. Its one goal is to make men feel bad about themselves, no matter how hard they try.

No matter what I get the little lady, it's just not enough. Because somewhere out there some jerk did it better than me. This year will I get a thank you? Nope. I'll be in the middle of a "He went to Jared" commercial. And I certainly won't be getting a kiss, because I can't afford the Kay.

Would you look at that, I've hit my word count. Good luck surviving Valentine's Day!