Not sure what we had more of this episode: commercials or the name “Carolina” being said. Honestly, if you didn’t watch this episode, I don’t blame you — you didn’t miss anything. The drama was so repetitive and stale that Jesse and Grant had to play “Chubby Bunny” and talk to “The Magic Mirror” to fill time — well, maybe because we’ve only had six episodes of the show so far… I guess if we must, let’s get into it.
Beginning the Carolina drama
Ah, the man who says, “Grant, ladies; this is the final rose tonight,” is back! Jesse used so much Gen-Z “slang,” I almost had to turn the TV off within the first two minutes.
As we welcome the ladies back from Grant’s season, everyone immediately turns to Carolina because her blazer had, “What’s your question?” and “Crazy and Evil” written on it. Carolina, no one is phased by that, you are just drawing more attention to yourself.
After we got an 8-minute recap of the season we just watched, we unpacked the Zoe drama only momentarily since she is not there because she’s in the final three. We learned that Zoe was actually gone with Grant during the basketball date for an hour and that Sarafiena and her are on very good terms after Sarafiena said, “That’s the shortest dress I’ve ever seen” back at Week Three.
Then, of course, we jump into the Carolina drama for pretty much the rest of the episode. As the women are screaming at each other, trying to recall the events of what happened — Jesse, anytime you wanted to step in to mediate would’ve been great — Carolina screams, “I really need Grant to be here. He must be held responsible.” She constantly deflects the problem which makes her a really hard person to root for.
We need to hear from our real winner, Rose. I must know what she’s thinking. (Oh, and Alexe too. How did neither of them make it Hometowns?) Jesse finally jumps in to let us know we’re going to a commercial!
Then we go right back to Carolina and Dina’s drama. Dina had to be my favorite this episode. She was giving Elle Woods and winning every single argument — I wish I could’ve been in the audience to cheer her on. Sidenote, do we think the producers make the posters the audience members have? They must. I know no one is making a “Carolina is our girl” poster in their free time.
Anyways, Jesse brought the receipts for the Carolina and Dina drama. For those who aren’t glued to TikTok — unlike myself — Dina posted a video teasing Week Six of the show saying how she got played by Carolina. Then Carolina followed it up by “threatening” that she would release their text messages. The two argued, Dina clearly won the argument — never try and argue with a lawyer — and Dina topped it off by saying, “I bought you another week in Madrid.” Someone put that on a blazer. Carolina walks off the stage crying. No one follows her. Nothing new.
The Hot Seat
We got the same thing from everyone in the Hot Seat. “I was just so surprised,” “I can’t believe I got sent home,” “Our connection seemed so strong.” I think the primary issue was that Grant kept saying the same thing to all of the women. He said what they wanted to hear, making them think their connection was unique and then they were left blindsided.
Alexe, Sarafiena, Dina and Carolina all went in the Hot Seat. Alexe — after Carolina walked back in as she was speaking — was reunited with our girl Linda the Llama. It was the most emotional part of this entire season.
I just can’t believe Alexe got sent home. I truly don’t think I’ll ever recover. I’m literally blindsided.
Sarafiena talked about how she wants to find someone who will love her for who she is because she has so much love to give. Then they talked about how, finally, someone said it is embarrassing to make out on national TV — like, how is this just now getting discussed? Anyways, in Jesse Palmer fashion he was able to get Sarafiena’s mom to send in a video of her saying she is so proud of Sarafiena and was giggling at her making out with Grant.
During Dina’s Hot Seat, she shared that she was actually the one who decided to not bring her family to the Hometown date. She said she made this decision because her family members were fighting with each other about the process and show. It was also discussed how Grant said to cameras that family was make or break, but not to Dina’s face, and she wished they had a bigger conversation about it.
Carolina’s Hot Seat conversations came as a surprise. Oh wait, no they didn’t. They talked about the drama. Again. My eyes were literally twitching. Carolina “apologized” to Rose and then our queen Dina showed her what an actual apology with accountability looks like. Court is in session. I guess at some point during a group date, Dina approached Grant about Carolina, and he said, “I clocked it.” I’m not sure what he’s “clocking” but I guess it really upset Carolina.
Grant has — finally — arrived
It only took an hour and a half, but Grant has finally taken center stage. ABC, if you’ve ever loved your fans, you’ll tell us who is right in the Rose vs. Carolina vs. Dina vs. Sarafiena vs. everyone fight that has been going on for six. straight. weeks.
I wished Alexe asked him why he sent her home. Unfortunately, we may never know. My heart is still aching.
Dina shared with him that she felt bad if she didn’t make him feel comfortable enough to share that family was make or break. Our poor Dina, it’s not your fault!!!
Grant admits that he has not been the best with his words this season — 0h, we know. I’m not going to lie, Grant did not look like a man who is happily engaged; but, it can always just be the fact that he has to see all of his ex’s and confront them. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see…
He then shares that his connection with Carolina did not progress because of the drama, but simply because other connections were stronger. Sure, Grant that’s why.
I guess Grant and Jesse had to do a “Chubby Bunny” contest next. I don’t know why either.
Then they had to talk to “The Magic Mirror,” a little promotion for Disney’s live action “Snow White” coming soon.
FINALLY. “The Magic Mirror” shows us the clip of Grant telling Rose that, “He was thinking about her during the group date.” Obviously, there was some clear miscommunication — still team Rose — but Rose and Grant both apologized and said it was a misunderstanding.
Then, of course, we had bloopers. Yes, I’ll admit it, I did let out a smile or two.
And then the best news Jesse has given all season: “Bachelor in Paradise” is back! Hallelujah. Of course Jesse had to hit us with, “There is a new format that will shake up the beaches.” We all know nothing that extreme is happening.
In the last two minutes of the episode, we got an “exclusive” look at the finale of Grant’s season. He says, “I love you” to both Juliana and Litia… oh boy, this is not going to end well! Zoe hits Grant with the, “I really don’t know anything about you.” Litia can’t be with Grant if he is intimate with other women. Juliana said she is still broken. Well, no wonder Grant doesn’t look happy. Holy cow. The preview ends with Grant literally not knowing who to pick. His now fiancé is probably watching this like, “Oh.”
I can’t even say “finally” that the two-part finale starts next week because this has been such a short season, but I’ll do it anyway.
Finally! The two-part finale starts next week. Get ready, because I’m sure it will be “the most dramatic finale yet.”
This story was written by Sophie Goldstein. She can be reached at [email protected].
