Dear open letters:

You’ve had a good run. You called out a lot of people – politicians, athletes, businesses. But now, after accomplishing nothing other than enhancing egos of the author, we are asking you to stop.

Sure, being pretentious was fine when it seemed to be sufficing some greater cause, but being pretentious and cliche is a waste of words on the Internet. No one who has ever written an open letter that has led to anything, so it’s probably time to stop writing open letters.

A suggestion: write closed letters directed to specific people just between the two of you. Buy stamps from your local post office. Electronically, email said person. You won’t get the personal satisfaction of everyone on the web knowing you’re calling out said person, but the person you are addressing is actually being addressed this way.

The one benefit to writing open letters opposed to direct letters is the ability to add an unnecessary amount of hyperlinks. We still support this.

Sincerely,

The Turnip staff, in an open letter.