To…The boys in Apt. H: Thanks for scaring the crap out of us during the power outage, causing us to call the DPS. We looked like fools armed with two boots, tweezers and a plunger. You may want to watch your backs…

To … Jenny: Thanks for being the best roommate. I’m truly proud of our 16-bottle shrine we have made over the last two months.

To…The freshmen hanging outside my house on Fridays: We’ll have a party soon.

To…The British man crashing on my couch: Keep drinking pints.

To…Jeff and Tom: Great running with you. That Goose Island was great at the end.

To…Whatever disease kept me on the couch for the last two weekends: You came, I coughed, I conquered. No more looking like Jack Skellington for me!

To…Jackie and Mary Margaret: Can’t wait for our family dinners next year!

To…All the Major League umpires: Why are you still employed?