Which is better, the classic Sobelman’s burger or “Milwaukee’s healthiest burger” from the new Sobelman’s Tallgrass Grill?

Jack Kelly: First of all, for people who don’t know, Sobelman’s Tallgrass is…

Michael Murphy: At the new Sobelman’s, they’ve got the cows eating organic now.

So the cows are eating healthy. And they kill the cows and turn them into organic burgers basically. So it’s a healthier dead cow.

Jack: So they are dead.

Michael: Cows are still dead. But they’re healthier.

Jack: All right. So they’re a healthier alternative if you still want a Sobelman’s burger.

First question first though: Sobelman’s burger vs. Sobelman’s Tallgrass burger?

Michael: Hands down, Sobelman burger. Doesn’t compete.

I mean, A, you just have the general taste. It’s delicious. When you bite into it, it’s like biting into heaven.

Heaven that’s not eating organic grass, though. What do you think?

Jack: I agree with you. Yeah, there’s no comparison. No burger I’ve had in Milwaukee compares to the Sobelman.

Michael: No burger I’ve ever had compares.

Jack: I don’t know if I’d go that far…

Michael: Eh, actually I shouldn’t either. But it’s really good.

Jack: Maybe the most important question here is atmosphere.

Michael: Well, before we get into atmosphere, which is a key component to the Sobelman burger experience, did you enjoy the Tallgrass burger at least?

Jack: I enjoyed it. I would’ve rather had a Sobelman burger, though, because it looked like a Sobelman burger.

Michael: Exactly.

Jack: I wanted it to taste like a Sobelman burger, but it just wasn’t there.

The cheese was off, the bun wasn’t quite the same, the meat obviously was different.

Michael: It’s like a hot girl with a bad personality.

Jack: That’s a fantastic comparison.

Michael: It’s got so much potential. You think it’s gonna be a Sobelman burger, but it’s not. It’s just not.

Jack: It was still good, though. For seven bucks, it’s a good deal. A big burger, fries and a drink.

Michael: Yeah, prices were good there.

All right, so back to what we were talking about before, a large component to what the Sobelman burger is, is the atmosphere.

It doesn’t matter that it’s kind of a shanty. Part of the mystique of Sobelman’s is making the trek down to the blue collar, industrial, middle-of-nowhere area. I enjoy that.

Jack: Maybe part of what makes a Sobelman burger so good is that possibly, you risked your life getting there.

Going down that creepy staircase, crossing the bridge. All that.

Michael: Also, when you’re parking, you run the risk of your car brakes going out and being thrown into a busy street.

That is the most ridiculous…it can’t even be legal how slanted that is.

Jack: And when it’s icy out…

Michael: It’s like a sledding hill. When it’s icy, you cannot get down without falling.

Jack: It’s part of the experience

Michael: It’s part of the Sobelman’s experience. The burger is not just a burger.

It’s an experience, which is what sets it apart from so many other burgers, including the Tallgrass.

Also, part of Sobelman’s is the atmosphere that you envelop yourself in.

Jack: Absolutely.

Michael: And when you go to Tallgrass, it’s new, it’s trendy, it’s on the east side. It’s organic. There’s a counter you order at. I like to sit down and be waited on.

Jack: There’s a new-agey design.

Michael: It’s like Sobelman’s for hippies.

Jack: That should be their new slogan — Sobelman’s for hippies.

Michael: If you’re a hippie and like Sobelman’s, this is the place for you.

Jack: And they do offer a vegetarian burger. They have veggie options.

Michael: See, that’s just a disgrace to the name. Veggie burgers? Come on.

If someone went to the original Sobleman’s and ordered a veggie burger, they would be beaten up by some blue collar hard-necks. So, final verdict.

Jack: Gotta say Sobelman burger. No contest.

Michael: I agree, hands down. The real Sobelman burger.

Jack: Nothing beats the original.