Welcome to “Sports Sideshow,” formerly known as “Lighter Side of Sports,” where the games always come second. Check out the name tag. You’re in my world now, grandma.

This week features Milwaukee royalty, slugger Prince Fielder of the Brewers. After hitting a walk-off home run in the 12th inning Sunday to defeat San Francisco 2-1, Fielder rounded the bases while his teammates waited to greet him at home. As he leapt onto home plate, the rest of the Brewers toppled over like a giant Jenga game.

The Giants were pretty mad about the whole thing, so this Brewers fan came up with some more appropriate celebrations for the next time this sort of thing happens:

Remember that one scene in ‘Hook’ where the huge Lost Boy curls into a giant human boulder, rolls down the gang plank and knocks down all the pirates who are just standing there with swords and guns and don’t do anything? Yeah. That.

Softball Special: The noted vegetarian has to eat a tofu dog and chug a beer before rounding each base. Won’t take as long as you think.

Nothing: When your under-performing team has already lost the series in question and is way under .500, maybe you should chill out a bit.