Editor’s Note: This article contains satirical statements. It was also written by members of the LGBTQ+ community.
For the past 33 years, America has annually celebrated the LGBTQ+ community’s bravery Oct. 11, National Coming Out Day.
Coming out refers to the act of someone telling others that they identify with some aspect of the LGBTQ+ community. National Coming Out Day was formally recognized nationally in 1989 after the second national March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights.
National Coming Out Day falls in the middle of October which is recognized as LGBTQ+ History Month. Rodney Wilson, a high school teacher from Missouri, thought it was important for LGBTQ+ history to be shared in schools, so he started this initiative in 1994. The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network released a statement saying that “LGBT History Month is an opportunity for educators to teach students about [LGBT] history and events.”
In honor of National Coming Out Day, here are some creative ways you can come out of the closet with your own personal soundtrack:
Lesbian – Buy a whole new car. A Subaru, specifically. And blare girl in red. That’ll really help get the point across.
Music Rec: “Girls Like Girls” by Hayley Kiyoko, “Like Real People Do” by Hozier
Gay – Have you ever seen “Legally Blonde?” Elle Woods said it best, “Gay men know designers, straight men don’t,” so start showing off your knowledge by pointing out last-season Prada and out-of-date Gucci.
Music Rec: “My Boy” by Car Seat Headrest, “Predatory Wasp of the Palisades” by Sufjan Stevens
Bisexual – Just start cuffing your jeans, wearing converse and drinking iced chai lattes with oat milk. Eventually, someone will get the hint. Bonus points if you get a tattoo of a moth or a sword.
Music Rec: “Sweater Weather” by The Neighborhood, “Wet Dream” by Wet Leg
Transgender – Throw a gender reveal party and encourage everyone to bring you gender-affirming clothing. Please try to avoid starting a forest fire.
Music Rec: “Verbatim” by Mother Mother, “How Far I’ll Go” by Auli’i Cravalho
Pansexual – Send a picture to your friends and family of you kissing, hugging or embracing your favorite frying pan. Also, being attracted to all the characters from “The Rocky Horror Picture Show“ and you’ll fit the demographic.
Music Rec: “Everybody Talks” by The Neon Trees, “no friends” by mazie
Asexual – Begin accumulating cats to become the ultimate old cat person. Also, change your major to either mathematics or English with a focus on writing intensives.
Music Rec: “Clair du Lune” by Claude Debussy, “Merry-Go-Round of Life” by Joe Hisaishi
Non-binary – Just say your favorite character is Janet from “The Good Place” and refer to people as “fxlks ?” ? and you’re set.
Music Rec: “Should’ve Been Me” by Mitski, “Lemon Demon” (literally like the entire discography)
Queer – Just write it on a cake and show people.
Music Rec: showtunes (“Rocky Horror Picture Show” soundtrack), “Minecraft” soundtrack … specifically Mellohi
P.S. Just start thrifting and wearing flannel, you’ll basically cover all of these categories.
Now that you have inspiration for how to come out, you can celebrate National Coming Out Day. However, do not feel pressured to come out, you are still valid. Keep blaring “Born This Way” by Lady Gaga until you are ready.
Lauren Puthoff contributed to this article.
This story was written by Izzy Fonfara Drewel and Will Eikenbary. They can be reached at [email protected] and [email protected].
