A general theme for my life during quarantine has been adaptation. Even saying that makes me feel like I’m attempting, and failing, to write an essay. Finding ways to do everything either at home, online or both has definitely been an adjustment.
The main difference is my environment. Not only am I no longer in my college dorm surrounded by almost entirely fellow 18-22-year-olds, but I now spend my days with my three little sisters, mom, dad and dog. It’s not necessarily a bad or good thing, but it’s at the very least a neutral change that’s had a ripple effect on everything else in my life.
I’ve been watching a lot of television and movies that I’ve been meaning to catch up on. I figure now is as good a time as any. I’ve never been so grateful for Spotify for Students providing me a complimentary Hulu subscription.
The adjustment to online classes has been pretty difficult for me. Not being able to go anywhere or have any physical evidence of progress I make results in a feeling of nothingness. When everything I do all day is digital, it almost feels like my day passes and I have nothing to show for it.
I miss being able to talk to my friends, interact with teachers and go to work. Living my life “normally” is something I have definitely taken for granted. While I’ve been aware of the luck I benefit from, this crisis is truly putting things in an entirely new perspective.
I’m struggling to be lighthearted and optimistic about the whole thing. Professors keep asking about positives or “little victories” that we’ve been able to find, but it’s been hard for me to keep my head up. The collective sorrow of the world is weighing on my heart, and not knowing how to help or if I can help at all amplifies the feeling of hopelessness.
Seeing constant updates on people getting sick, scary predictions for the future and not knowing what is going to happen next is bringing back a defeatist attitude within me. It’s also making me exceedingly more grateful for my family and for the fact that the most inconvenient part for us is not being able to go hang out with our friends. I’m working to try and find positives, but I know how lucky I am to be able to do so.
This story was written by Grace Dawson. She can be reached at [email protected].
