LeBron James led his Miami Heat into Cleveland to take on his old team, the last-place Cavaliers, Tuesday night. His second return to Quicken Loans Arena since last summer’s “Decision” generated some interesting moments.

Before the game started, arena staff barred James and his entourage from parking in the private garage before the Heat’s shootaround, before eventually letting James in. Life on the road can be tough.

Then, a reporter asked James how he’d feel about having his jersey number retired by the franchise he left at the championship altar after seven exciting-but-fruitless seasons. Such discussion is bizarre for a few reasons: First, he’s still playing. Second, he’s playing for another team. And third, the LeBron-Cleveland relationship is colder than an Antarctic beach day.

Then during pregame introductions, with the sold out Cleveland crowd ready to let “the king” hear what they think about him now, James was suspiciously absent from the Miami sideline. Under the cover of darkness during the home team’s introduction, James finally slunk his way onto the court to join his teammates. His excuse? A bathroom break. Even if you don’t like him, you have to admit he’s pretty crafty.

Finally, the game started and James took solace between the lines as beleaguered athletes always do. Behind his triple-double and 27 points from Dwyane Wade, the playoff-bound Heat easily dispatched …

What’s that? The Heat lost? By 12? To the Cavaliers? So much for those seven or eight championships teammate Chris Bosh predicted, huh?

The bow on the package was a tweet from Cavalier owner and unintentionally-hilarious letter-writer Dan Gilbert, who taunted “Not in our garage!!” alluding to the arena staff’s rejection of LeBron’s crew. It’s always nice to get the last laugh, especially on a guy who publicly humiliated your entire business operation.