5. Pink: “Kanye West is the biggest piece of s*** on earth. Quote me.”

4. Dane Cook: “Kanye did something incredible tonight. He made me like country music.”

3. Elizabeth Banks: “I actually teared up on behalf of that tall Taylor Smith. She looked like a beanstalk to Kanye’s mushroom.”

2. Katy Perry: “It’s like [you] stepped on a kitten.”

1. John Stamos: “Matt and Trey had it so right with South Park’s “Fishsticks” episode on how DENSE you are.