In race relations, sociologists call it "black fatigue." It is the constant, draining struggle to pull down racial barriers while the majority denies that these barriers exist. And I, the whitest of the white, am fatigued.
Not to discount the continuing struggle of African-Americans in our country, but my fatigue does not stem from race. The source of my frustration is my sexuality. I have been openly gay for five years — five years of educating thousands of students on three continents that I am not truly as different as others would have me appear. After five years, I am exhausted. I am fatigued.
Even after surviving an election in which both sides of the ticket used my sexuality as a weapon, I am offered no reprieve. I opened the Tribune on Nov. 18 to find two Viewpoints ("Christian ideas expressed about homosexuality" by Meg Lavery and "Student overflows with 'pride' in Marquette" by Joseph Wichgers) deriding gay marriage and explaining why the "Christian Church" — which, by the way, does not exist — cannot accept a loving relationship I might have with a man. It was up to me to write a response. Why? Because no one else will.
While I know many theologians, sociologists, journalists, philosophers and psychologists on our campus who could deride the feeble arguments within those two Viewpoints, none of them will. What about the multitude of students who have become my friends, whom I have educated about gay rights, about gay people and about equality? Why won't any of them respond? Because the issue is of no vital importance to these otherwise burdened scholars and students. They may also fear losing the comfort of anonymity. So the burden of defending myself once again falls upon me.
If doubts linger about the need to defend myself, please realize I just lost the opportunity to work toward civil unions in my home state of Michigan. It could be lost here in Wisconsin in April. Both efforts feel like personal assaults. I recently left the Catholic Church because of its active work in the Michigan campaign. It spent $500,000 of Church money to assure I would become a second-class citizen.
Granted, I know of many priests who support me and my relationships. But it is not because of them that I left the Church. They are not the vocal members of this movement. In lieu of speaking against homosexuality, they simply don't address it publicly at all. But silence is compliance. And that compliance has become emotionally and physically draining for the few of us who have taken a stand.
It is very evident that those who oppose gay rights are mobilized. They get out the vote, they write Viewpoints and they take a strong stand even though they are not personally affected by homosexuality. That's fine. I respect both their efforts and their opinions as much as they might cause me pain. Most of them have never met me, so they do not know the person they hurt with their "Christian love." But what of those who do know me? Why is this fight continually left up to me? The loneliness of this struggle is overwhelming.
This great effort is only going to resolve itself to satisfaction if it moves in much the same way the Civil Rights movement did. Whites uniting in the active fight for black rights created substantial changes. I call now on every student, teacher and staff member whose minds I, and others like me, have helped open to make this struggle their own. Consider an attack on gay-marriage as a personal affront. Feel constant empathy for the struggle for equality, and let that empathy move you to attend meetings, write Viewpoints and speak out. This struggle is about freedom, equality and the pursuit of happiness. And you are needed.
Eichenlaub is a senior communications major.
Click here to comment on this viewpoint on the Tribune Forum.