Until a couple of months ago, I knew absolutely nothing about Greek life in the United States. I am Brazilian, so my knowledge regarding sororities and fraternities was limited to stereotypes presented by movies such as American Pie and Legally Blonde. Researching online, much of what I stumbled upon was hate toward the Greek community.

When I arrived in Marquette I soon realized these stereotypes were far from the truth. Marquette’s Greek system is nothing like Hollywood set it out to be. At work, in class, and everywhere on campus, I began to meet more and more Greek students. To me, they were the image of diversity and truly amazing people.

I decided to go Greek. And it wasn’t long until many of my non-Greek friends advised me not to. “Sororities are full of snobby girls.”

“Why would you pay for friendship?”

“Don’t do this to yourself. No one deserves their unnecessary drama.”

“You’re a Women’s and Gender Studies major. You of all people should not condone the behavior of those girls.”

I didn’t care much for these speeches. No sorority girl had pressured me to join, but the great majority of the non-Greek community tried to pressure me into giving up.

All over social media, the Greek-hate flowed non-stop as recruitment week drew closer. I began to fear what my friends would think of me if I went through with it, and almost gave up on something I wanted to do because of the stigma.

Luckily, the Marquette Journal made my decision easier by asking me to cover recruitment week. Now I have the perfect cover for going through with it. I brushed off the guilt I felt for ‘needing a cover’ and got ready for recruitment week.

Recruitment 101 Night had arrived. I walked into the AMU Ballrooms not knowing what to expect. The room was crowded with hundreds of girls, so I held my purse tighter as I nervously tried to find my group.

“Hey, what group are you in?” I turned around to find a girl I never saw before smiling at me as if we were best friends.

I sat down with my group, but I knew no one. As I always do in a situation where I feel alone, I decided to check my phone. No new red bubbles. No notifications. Nothing.

I looked around the room, pretending to search for someone. Everyone seemed to be wearing comfortable clothes, but was still very well-dressed. Even though I was one of the few girls to come wearing heels and make-up, I was relieved to feel like I belonged.

Sam and LoBro, my recruitment counselors, presented themselves and helped us break the ice. I was immediately surprised. Every single girl in my group was friendly.

As I found myself involved in refreshing conversation, the staff in charge of membership assumed the stage to begin the night.

Joanne Vazquez and Natalie Pinkney welcomed us to recruitment, with anxious voices and warm smiles. The girls spoke of the true purpose of sororities, and explained why the slogan ‘limitless possibilities’ represents Greek life at Marquette.

Throughout that week, I learned a lot more about the sororities at Marquette. Up until this point, the Greek letters confused me. I still feared the stereotypes to be true and I was in shock that I spent years of my life being told sororities were inherently evil, not knowing they actually raise millions of dollars for worthy causes.

In a matter of days, I met with all the chapters at Marquette. I learned that Sigma Kappa’s color was purple, and they support several charities. I learned that Alpha Xi Delta’s acronym was not AXD, but ΑΞΔ (oops). I learned that the Alpha Chi Omega girls are outgoing and extremely dedicated to their philanthropy (domestic violence awareness). I learned that the Alpha Phi women are moving into a brand new house, and will not make fun of you if you cry during their introduction video. I also learned that Pi Beta Phi women always find creative ways to support literacy, and will open up to you in only 30 minutes.

After meeting the chapters, I learned what defined each and every one of them. More importantly, though, I learned that all I had ever ‘known’ of sororities was wrong. The girls I met didn’t care that I was wearing mismatched socks (oops x2) or that I had a funny accent when I said ‘inquiry;’ they cared whether I was having fun, and how I manage to live thousands of miles away from my family in a place as cold as Milwaukee.

This led to a difficult decision. On Wednesday night, I would have to choose only four chapters to visit again. I was having so much fun that I forgot about this significant detail. Despite the pleasant experience I had with every chapter, I made my decision.

The next day was disconcerting to possibly every single girl involved with recruitment. We had Post Office. Post Office is the dreadful moment when your recruitment counselors tell you which of the chapters you will be visiting again. You see, the process for rush week is based on mutual selection. This means that to be paired up, you must choose a chapter, and the chapter chooses you too.

As I waited outside with my group members, we wished each other good luck, and quietly wallowed in our nervousness until being called.

I got the four chapters I picked. I walked back to McCormick feeling relieved and confident that everything does work out for the best. As I rested for the upcoming Philanthropy Night, I checked social media to take the edge off.

Horror. Yes, I was horrified with the amount of hate directed to me and all others who were going through rush week. Most of the Marquette non-Greek community had once again flooded social media.

“The whole idea of rushing is horrible. Complete superficial judgment with girls ranking above you.”

“Most of the really successful people are not in sororities.”

“Greek life is dumb.”

I can’t express just how dirty I felt at that moment. I had just spent two wonderful nights making new friends, having fun, and understanding just how many leadership and service opportunities I would be exposed to through Greek life… and with a couple of virtual anonymous comments, I felt like I was in some sort of satanic cult.

After scrolling down enough, I found more reason to be concerned:

“All I learned through recruitment is that it sucks when three large groups of girls all agree that they dislike you.”

“I really wish I didn’t find out through recruitment that I’m only low-key attractive and my personality is down the toilet.”

The girls who were not asked back to the sororities of their choice were clearly feeling insecure – as if the outcome of rush week would make them any more or less ‘likable.’

At that moment I realized that much of the Greek-directed hate comes from what people’s expectations of Greek life are, rather than from the reality of Greek life.

I noticed that many girls went through recruitment as if it were a test, an assurance that they were pretty and likable. Other girls went through recruitment only focused on the results, rather than the experience itself.

Rush week is not a test; it is an experience. To me, it does not matter where you end up, because the best parts of that week were the friends I made and the conversations I had. Even if my week had ended that Thursday, I would still have walked out with a lot more friends and a lot more experience than I did when the week started.

On that night, Philanthropy Night, I learned one more thing about sororities that no one who opposes it mentions: their service to worthy causes. Every sorority has a specific philanthropy it dedicates themselves to. These girls, who are so constantly criticized for their arrogance, donate thousands of community service hours and millions of dollars each year to causes such as Autism, Alzheimer’s, literacy, heart health, domestic abuse and many others. The girls are passionate about their philanthropies, and the Greek system in general is the largest network of volunteers in the United States, donating 10 million hours of service each year.

I went home that night feeling sure of my decision to go Greek. I learned so much about sororities, and felt so at home in many of them that I could not be affected by negative comments anymore.

Friday was Preference Night. I chose two sororities the night before, and was once again anxious to know of my fate during Post Office. This time, I only got one sorority I chose and one alternate. At first I felt disappointed, and tried to figure out what I did wrong.

It didn’t take me long to realize I did nothing wrong. It worked out exactly as it should. The sororities know themselves better than I do, so who am I to judge if they found that I was more likely to succeed in another chapter?

During Preference Night, I visited only two chapters, and by the end of the night, I would have to rank them. At first, I thought the decision would be easy, but it wasn’t. I connected with so many girls and had such a great time in both chapters that it seemed hard for me to decide. However, only one of those places felt like home.

The next morning was Bid Day. On my way to the AMU, I felt at ease with my decision. Whichever chapter I ended up in (if any), I would still be happy.

Sam and LoBro called me to give me the news. I opened the envelope to find an invitation from my new home: Alpha Phi.

I was thrilled. Alpha Phi had been my favorite from the start, and I could not wait to tell my Alpha Phi sisters that I had chosen them.

Bid Day was a blast. The AMU Ballrooms were once again crowded with girls. Each sorority was dressed up and clearly enjoying themselves as they sang, dance and tackled new sisters to the floor.

When I was revealed to be in Alpha Phi, they ran up to hug me, and I felt at home. These girls I had never met had so much in common with me that I knew I could be myself around them. All the girls who had spoken to me throughout the process came up to welcome me, and couldn’t help but smile.

Looking back to the past week, I realize that Greek life is criticized way too often for things that are simply not true, and by people who have no knowledge of Greek life whatsoever. The concept of sisterhood brings dozens of girls together based on shared beliefs and personality traits, creating bonds between girls who would otherwise never meet.

To those who simply have no better argument other than calling sorority women shallow and arrogant, I argue that once you meet them, your mind will be changed. These girls are dedicated young girls with ambitious goals and a passion for the Greek values of service, leadership and sisterhood.

Regardless of how the media chooses to represent Greek life, and regardless of the unfortunate examples of specific chapters throughout the United States, it would be wrong to generalize an entire organization for the errors of a few.

The truth is that Greek life in Marquette is unique, and tries to bring out the best of all the girls and boys involved, and truly giving all of us limitless possibilities.