MURPHY: If I ruled the school …

MichaelIf I were school president for a day…

Make movie nights on Sundays and Mondays

I have never been to Marquette’s Varsity Theatre but I have noticed some pretty good movies on the marquee. Unfortunately, they only play on nights when everyone is going out.

I (as I’m sure you are too) am above going to the Varsity Theatre on Fridays and Saturdays. If they switched the show times of these movies to Sundays and Mondays, students would actually go and Marquette would make a little money.

It’s a win-win situation. Besides, we all know that playing these movies on weekends is Marquette’s brilliant plan to keep us within the confines of school property, shielding them from the evils of drinking and preserving the tight, nurturing embrace into Marquette’s bosom. Give me a break.

Change everything about Marquette’s cafeteria plan

The average meal cost for the Block 175 is $9.57, and the Block 125 costs $12.32, according to the Marquette Dining Services’ Web site.

The food is horrible. I would say just about everyone comes about 25 to 50 meals short of fulfilling their meal plan every semester.

And Marquette is not as generous as AT&T in that we don’t get rollover meals. God forbid we actually get what we pay for!

So here is what I, the school president would do:

I would make the meal plans pay as you go with incentives: Reach X amount of meals, pay $X. The more you eat the less you pay.

I would allow rollover meals to the next semester.

I’ll also make it cheaper. The quantity is irrelevant when the food comes right out the other end.

The fact that some students are paying more than $12 a meal is ludicrous. If I am spending that much, I’m going Chipotle and getting myself a steak burrito, chips with guacamole and a large Coke.

“First one’s on us” policy

If you have gotten an underage drinking ticket, raise your hand.

Some of us don’t even have enough hands to raise. The average drinking ticket is between $175 and $550 depending on your behavior, what is in your wallet and how fast/far you run.

As president, I would have Marquette pay for your first drinking ticket.

Marquette needs to face the fact that it resides in a city that prides itself on its drinking culture. Milwaukee’s baseball team is the Brewers for crying out loud.

Just about all of the appeal of this school is that it’s in a party town. So as president I would help those who get punished for celebrating Milwaukee. God bless you brave souls.

Marquette men’s basketball game at the Al McGuire Center

Before anyone jumps down my throat, let me make one thing clear. I love Marquette basketball games at the Bradley Center. When the likes of Georgetown or Notre Dame come to town, nothing beats it and it’s hard to find an empty seat in the entire place.

But what if one game a year, Marquette students could only pack the Al McGuire Center for a Big East game. The atmosphere would not just be wild, but it would be a great way to pay tribute to a Marquette legend.

I understand that Marquette would be losing money but let’s think of the big picture here. What would honor Al McGuire more than an annual Big East bash in his name and in his building?

Maybe even do it on a Wednesday night so we can all Double Our Dough afterwards. But I digress.

So there you have it.

Let us not let these great ideas die with the Thursday edition of the Marquette Tribune, but instead prove there is at least one president who can change something in this country.