In her semifinal match of the U.S. Open against Kim Clijsters, Serena Williams was just two points short of a disappointing upset. During her second serve, she was called for a foot fault by the lineswoman on her side. She didn’t handle it well. And I quote:

“I swear to God, I’m (expletive) taking this (expletive) ball and shoving it down your (expletive) throat, you hear that? I swear to God.”

After reporting the incident to the head umpire, the tiny lineswoman returned to her chair, where she was confronted by Serena again. The woman then scurried away like a frightened dog during Fourth of July fireworks. Can you blame her? I would’ve bolted. Williams is built like a middle linebacker.

Anyway, Serena was penalized for the incident and that’s how she lost, which is pretty funny. The line judge accused Serena of threatening to kill her, which she vehemently denied. Well, does shoving a tennis ball down someone’s (expletive) throat cause death? She might slide on this one. I’m not a medical professional. So I asked one.

“I guess the answer would be yes,” Marquette Co-director of Clinical Education DeAnn Ceelen said. “I don’t know how you would actually do it.”

Very carefully, I’m sure.