Sitting in front of the TV Tuesday night, I was eating dinner (because that's where the only table in my house is located) and wondering what to write about. The basketball game on-screen breaks to commercial, and all of a sudden, there's Marquette hero Dwyane Wade!

So naturally, I was excited to see where this was going. The phone rings, and he answers.

"My idol!" Wade professes gleefully.

Cut to Charles Barkley, dressed in one of those goofy motion-capture body suits.

"Hey man, I'm getting ready to." blah-blah whatever.

I couldn't believe what Wade said! It was one of those moments when you just shake your head, like when someone mismanages lifelines on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.

All right Flash, you're forever the big man around this campus, and please, feel free to keep Sir Charles high up in the speed dial, but maybe pick a different person to idolize than the Round Mound of Bodysuit. Who? I don't know — maybe someone who's avoided jail time in the last six months. I mean, sure, DUI's and call-girl solicitation look cool in the movies and are great conversation starters at family gatherings, but consider using a different word choice next time.

Bonus fun fact: Barkley's middle name is 'Wade.' Wow. I wonder how long it took before that came up in conversation? Over/under: nine minutes.

See it yourself at YouTube keyword: Charles Barkley old school.