Whether you like it or not, Duke senior guard Greg Paulus working out for the Green Bay Packers affects everyone around here. This place lives and breathes football. Even Chicago Bears fans can admit that the state of Wisconsin is a much friendlier place the day after a Packers win. Right? Whatever, at least I tried to appeal to you Illinoisans.

Marquette fans remember Paulus from a pair of match-ups over the last couple of years. But what many don't know is he was a highly-recruited quarterback coming out of high school and chose hoops instead.

Paulus is several years removed from any serious football competition, and Green Bay has a roster already loaded with young, unproven quarterbacks. So I started thinking about other ways he could contribute to the Packers if he was drafted.

Waterboy: I write this with as little disdain I can have for a Duke basketball player as possible. Like the Adam Sandler movie, but with more hair gel.

Scapegoat: Again, who has more experience being unfairly singled out and harassed than the Blue Devil? Missed a field goal? Blocking issues? Penalty flag? Blame Greg. Uniting against a common enemy has been proved to increase morale, and the results could be immeasurable.

Guy Following the Coach Making Sure There's Enough Slack for his Headset Cable at All Times: One of the most important jobs in sports. I know what many of you are thinking: "Aren't the headsets wireless now?" Yes. Yes, they are.