After Dwyane Wade took an errant shot to the face during Miami's Sunday win over Charlotte, he emerged from the locker room afterward with boxing gloves, a robe, and a swollen left eye. For a second, I thought maybe he was considering going on Celebrity Boxing 2 and taking a piece out of Tonya Harding.,”After Dwyane Wade took an errant shot to the face during Miami's win over Charlotte Sunday, he emerged from the locker room with boxing gloves, a robe, and a swollen left eye. For a second, I thought maybe he was considering going on Celebrity Boxing 2 and taking a piece out of Tonya Harding.

Donning the gloves, he asked his teammates what his boxing nickname would be. I guess "Flash" isn't good enough. Alas, no one in the room could muster a suitable moniker.

Fear not, D-Wade. Ask, and ye shall receive. Any of these should do fine:

"Frodo" – you know, because he's Lord of the (boxing) Rings. No? C'mon. I thought it was decent. Fine. Moving on.

"Artificial Sweetener" – too many "Sugars" out there already. Also considered: Caffeine-Free.

"Chef Tony's Miracle Blade" – this only works when put in between his first and last names. Dangerous, and rhyming.

After much deliberation, I decided on "The Stallion." Why? He's fast, powerful, and was ridden by Tom Crean to the Final Four.

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