Last week, mysterious messages began appearing near campus buildings. They came out of nowhere, much like crop circles or Bigfoot sightings, to torment some of Marquette's best and brightest — smokers.

The strange signs were chalked around the doors of the Alumni Memorial Union, Raynor Memorial Library and countless other buildings. The dark chalked lines showed the legal distance smokers must stand from buildings, and I for one am appalled. Why would you want smokers to stand so far from buildings when it is so enjoyable to exit a building into a cloud of secondhand smoke?

Breathing in secondhand smoke is actually one of my favorite pastimes, along with stealing candy from babies and beating up the elderly. I've also heard secondhand smoke is good for the body, especially for pregnant women and young children. Plus there are so many health benefits to firsthand smoking — like yellow teeth, emphysema and lung cancer. That's why I'm planning to start the habit today.

The chalk lines were drawn by Colleges Against Cancer, a student group associated with the American Cancer Society (ACS), and the Peer Health Educators, a student team within the Center for Health Education and Promotion that provides health-related programming and resources. The chalked distances were made as part of last Thursday's Great American Smokeout, a day started in 1976 by an ACS group in California. ACS encourages people to smoke less or quit on the third Thursday of every November. To help people quit, they provide stop smoking hotlines and access to resources, such as "stop smoking" groups and craving-lessening medicines. But who needs those resources when you have Milwaukee winters and, thanks to those chalk lines, no protection from the wind or biting cold?

Not that the cold really seems to change smokers' habits. In my time at Marquette, I've seen plenty of students smoking in the winter. You've seen those good-decision makers, too, huddled near McCormick Hall or attached to Raynor's brick exterior. It's too bad they can't smoke inside, like back in the good ol' days.

In the early 1900s smoking was cool and good for you. Soldiers fighting in World War I and World War II got free cigarettes, and Hollywood A-listers like John Wayne and Betty Grable encouraged everyone else to light up too. How I miss those days. We've lost celebrity endorsements, the Marlboro Man and other advertising ploys that helped get kids and teens hooked. It's a travesty.

At least smokers can still light up in bars. I love remembering a night out by the wonderful smell the habit leaves on my clothes. It's one of my favorite scents, and it really should be made in candle form.

Smoking in bars has been banned since January in Illinois. People were outraged and bar owners griped that their businesses would fail. Well, a year later, bars in Illinois are still hopping. Nonetheless, I am strongly against a Wisconsin smoking ban because I believe one person should be allowed to ruin the atmosphere for everyone else. It follows the principle of majority rules, right?

So, here's to you, smokers. Thanks for decreasing quality of air and of life for so many of us. Thanks for continuing your habit when common sense and medicine tell you not to.

Just one more thing — got a light?