Deer Leonard,
I was eating in the McCormick cafeteria and heard some girls talking about how they "rode the pepper" the other night. Do you have any clue what they meant? Do you think I'll have a chance to ride the pepper?
Sincerely,
Left out at lunch
Dear Left out,
Please do not feel bad about not understanding this phrase. "Riding the pepper" has meant many different things throughout history. Aristotle used the term to describe a man of little virtue. Amelia Earhart's legendary final words before boarding her plane were, "Ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no pepper strong enough!" It was a common phrase among acid-tripping hippies of the 1960s. Most recently, it has infiltrated Marquette's campus when the Milwaukee restaurant La Perla started offering rides.
Deer Leonard,
I heard of a book titled, "Things Younger Than John McCain." What are some things listed in that book?
Mike Andike
Dear Mike,
Well, to name a few, the book lists moonshine, Potassium, most species of tree, French arrogance, arithmetic, left-handedness, Larry Bird's calf implants and the "Thong Song."
Deer Leonard,
What do I do when I ride in elevators with strangers? Do I try to start a conversation, or do I act like I haven't noticed them riding the elevator with me for the past five weeks?
Jack,
Pre-med
Dear Jack,
I know elevator rides can be very stressful. Having to stand in a box with strangers for up to two minutes is weird. Any conversation you start will last no more than 30 seconds and will end up sounding more awkward than your hung-over roommate discussing Utilitarianism in your 8 a.m. philosophy class. So stick to your guns and stare at the floor like that time you peed your pants at the 8th grade geography bee.
Deer Leonard,
Halloween is coming soon. Do you believe in ghosts?
Roxanne
Dear Roxanne,
I do believe in "Ghost." In fact, it is my favorite movie. There is nothing steamier than making sweet, sweet pottery with Patrick Swayze. Once his translucent hands touch the clay, I get goose pimples all up and down my haunches. Try not to worry, paranormal fright is nothing to being shot and hung on a wall.
Each week, Leonard the Deer answers reader questions regarding a variety of subjects. Have something to ask? Send your questions to: muviewpoints@yahoo.com.
