If there's one thing I hate, it's when writers start off their column by saying, "It's that time of year again!" followed by their breathless explanation of exactly what time of year it is. It's always the start of some NCAA tournament season, Oscar season, the holiday season. My point: Writing that is boring.

And that's what I want to talk about – boredom. Boredom when one should be entertained, to be exact. We expect boredom from our classes – I can't imagine anything more worthless than listening to another excruciating lecture when someone should be helping me find an actual job when I graduate in two months.

That's why we turn to entertainment to keep us from a room of padded walls. Watching a movie or listening to music reminds us why we need to work hard and get jobs – so we can buy more movies and music.

But here's the problem I've been running into – someone needs to make something entertaining, stat. I just watched "Babel" on DVD, and I swear to God, a race between a pair of glaciers would move 10 times faster than that thing did.

I know it's well acted, it has an important message, the cinematography is beautiful – but none of that takes away from the fact I checked the clock more often than I wondered how many more times the Japanese girl was going to expose herself.

Last year's example of this was "Brokeback Mountain." After I read 150 reviews giving it four stars and proclaiming it "Best Movie in the Universe Ever," I immediately knew this movie was going to change my life. It was supposed to be a modern-day classic, a return to visceral and life-changing cinema.

I think I'm still waiting for that movie to end.

If you go to Hell, you have two choices: You can have an eternal prostate exam or you can watch a double feature of "Brokeback Mountain" and "Norbit" until the end of time. Start praying.

Not to hedge my argument but to save my e-mail inbox, this isn't an issue of intelligence, attention span or my preference for 80-minute movies featuring two naked men wrestling (although that one rocked). I just don't like being bored. And I don't understand the people who do.

While we were being entertained by "300," Mr. Movie Elitist was still trying to explain how to not fall asleep during "The Queen."

While we were loving "Casino Royale," someone was re-watching last year's Best Picture nominee "Munich."

OK, that was a joke.

Although music is more left open to interpretation, if I have to hear about how great another one of these indie-rock bands is I'm going straight to Target to pick up Backstreet Boys Greatest Hits in solitary defiance (and I'll probably go into solitary confinement as well). At least they knew what a melody was ("I Want It That Way" c'mon!).

I love how each new band that records its record on a cassette recorder and plays a buzz saw in the background is going to "save rock." I thought the Strokes were going to do that? No wait, that was the Hives. No, wait. White Stripes. Isn't it the Decemberists now? Who is it? I'm sure I can find out on some Velvet Underground message board.

And it's trite (and a tad boring) to rip on pop music, but please. The Nelly Furtado/Gwen Stefani/Fergie three-headed monster just keeps playing the same song over and over again. I though girls wanted to have fun, not have 30-something women dress like hoes and sing about how they're not? Or how about the "rock band" known as The Fray? This band makes Barry Manilow look like the anti-Christ. They make church hymns sound like Lamb of God. They are essentially an emasculated Ben Folds – yet much worse.

But on a different note, it's that time of year again! Yes indeed, the spring season is indeed here, and the new entertainment releases coming out are .