I'm growing a beard this week. Trust me, you would care if you vaguely knew me. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, I could do to my appearance, short of plastic surgery, that would elicit more comments than those I receive whenever I make an ill-advised attempt to grow facial hair.

Ever since I've had the ability to grow a totally amazing beard (about sixth grade), this phenomenon has interested me.

People who would normally never talk to me make astute comments like, "So you're growing a beard, eh?" Teachers and professors are great for this. They would never make a comment on something someone was wearing, but if you're sporting a spiffy beard they say, "Going with the facial hair, eh?"

But my favorite comments come from those who would never otherwise judge my appearance. To be fair, guys only proclaim how awesome it is. "That's a tough-looking beard," they say. Or "When I play Cabela's 'Big Game Hunter' on my PS2 I always imagine I have a beard like that." Thanks, guys.

Girls, on the other hand, are split. But to be sure, they always make their opinions known. Perhaps it's the culture in which we live, perhaps it's something else. Yesterday I was told, "I like the scruff." Today I was told, "What's up with that stuff on your face?"

In times past girls have demanded that I shave it off. Other times they have told me it makes me look "older" or that, "It's a nice look."

The negative comments are interesting. Normally, these girls would never tell me if I look great or if I look terrible. What happens if the situation were the other way around?

"Holy crap," I could say, "your makeup looks like poop today. What were you thinking?" I doubt this would be a socially acceptable comment (even if it were true).

Regardless of their opinion, everyone certainly has a vested interest in my facial hair. If people only see me once a week they make sure to make a "state of the beard" speech. "That's coming in nicely" is a typical comment. "I thought you would have shaved that disgusting mess by now" is another.

Once people have opened up a dialogue on the beard, they have to keep it going. I must come across so interested in their opinion the first time, they feel obligated to let me know their standing on it every time I see them.

People never come up to me and ask me about my life, about something I wrote for the paper or for an opinion on politics or religion.

But did I mention I'm growing a beard?

See, I knew that you cared.