Punching, kicking, biting, scratching … am I talking about the latest Ultimate Fighting Championship match you didn't watch? No, I'm talking about what we all really want to see during our favorite respective sporting event.

"But Rob," you're saying, "are you advocating violence in sports?" No, I'm just celebrating it. Besides, writing about limiting fights would make a boring column.

Let's be real for a second. Would anyone really have been offended if, during the Marquette vs. Wisconsin basketball game, Tom Crean had landed a right hook right into Bo Ryan's scowling face?

No. Not only would you have been on your feet cheering, Crean would be immortalized as one of the greatest coaches of all time at Marquette.

Besides, what can be expected when a bunch of testosterone-filled males go head to head in a heated competition? It's just part of sports. Even ones that don't count.

For example, I frequent the Rec Center to play pick-up basketball games. It goes without saying that tempers flare and sometimes fists have been known to fly. It just seems to be a natural extension of playing sports, and who are we to try and stop it?

Besides, how many times have you heard people say, "I only watch hockey for the fights." (Can't really blame them.) Or, "Did you see when so-and-so punched so-and-so in the face? That was awesome!" (Of course you have.) Or, "Did you see that one cheerleader?" (Not related, but you've probably heard it quite a bit.)

But what of the fans? Besides drunken confrontations happening in the stands, a lot of spectators would be more than willing to jump down onto the court or field, and let the opposing team know exactly where they stand.

Of course, you could always just go to Detroit where they bring the fight right into the stands. How's that for service?

Although the fans are usually not quite as strong as the athletes, they have a distinct advantage in the form of projectiles, also known as paper cups full of beer.

Perhaps this just the result of an entire generation being reared on playing too much "Mike Tyson's Super Punch-Out!"

Heck no! This is about giving the people what they want. You thought that last foul was a little too hard? Just take matters into your own hands (literally) and throw them to the ground next time down the court.

Are you sitting in the stands and thinking that player looked a little too cross-eyed at your teams bench? That cup of ice in your hand should do nicely.

A word of warning as I conclude, if you didn't like this column, please don't come up to me on the street and try to start something. I hate confrontations.

This article appeared in The Marquette Tribune on Jan. 20 2005.