For every "Pardon the Interruption" ESPN comes up with, there's always a "Stump the Schwab" that makes you lose faith in the network. Another one of its prize ideas was putting Jim Rome on before "Around the Horn" and "PTI."

I was the happiest guy around when "Rome is Burning" was originally pulled from the airwaves, but the repetitious Rome and his show have returned, bringing with him a program that could make Richard Simmons drowsy.

I'm not sure what it is about Rome, but he makes me want to watch TV about as much as Isotoners would want O.J. Simpson to sell their gloves.

It could be his voice. Rome's steady tone is boring and unexciting. I'm not saying that I need Rome to develop a Dick Vitale tone, but it would be a good move to stop your steady and straight level of excitement.

Maybe it's his stoic face, because I'm pretty sure I've seen more emotion from the corpses Andy Sipowicz has discovered. Rome shows no emotion during his show — you start to wonder if he's so bored with the show that he can't contain the excitement any longer.

As someone who supposedly talks too fast, maybe I don't like Rome because the pauses he takes when he talks could be filled with entire Jim Croce songs.

A typical Rome rant travels along these lines: "Tom Brady, (queue "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown") great competitor, (now playing, "Operator") all he does, ("Photographs and Memories") is win games (and end with "Time in a Bottle")."

This is just proof that one moment can make a career for someone. When Rome called quarterback Jim Everett "Chris" in a 1994 interview, he was able to make a career out of it. My ears have been aching ever since.

The sad part is that ESPN has gone so far as to call Rome "the most respected voice in the world of sports broadcasting." Funny, they must not have heard of Bob Costas, Dan Patrick, Greg Gumbel or a handful of other broadcasters who are both a joy to listen to and more animated.

What's sad is that people actually enjoy listening to Jim Rome on the radio and most likely enjoy his television show. Then again, some people consider Jim Belushi a good actor. His "clones," (as his listeners are called) call up and try to fan the flames of Rome's ego. Why even work that hard? You know someone without a personality doesn't understand humor.

I never thought I'd ask for more Max Kellerman, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

This article appeared in The Marquette Tribune on April 28 2005.