If you missed Douglas R. Zabrowski's March 8 Viewpoint, "Marquette does not reflect Catholic identity," — and I pray that you did — as it was one of the more offensive, noxious, flat-out annoying things I've read in the Tribune — it didn't break any new ground. Just another "woe is me, I am Catholic!" tome bursting with the insincerity, hatred, ideological posturing and idiotic self-righteousness I've come to expect from these thought-provoking pages.

Didn't Zabrowski take a tour before enrolling senior year of high school?

I did, and even though I ended up going to school here — a decision I occasionally regret upon encountering Viewpoints like his — the morning my family and I visited was a harrowing experience we never forgot.

It started well enough that chilly April afternoon — a walk around campus, a tour of McCormick, some lame jokes. My mother liked the architecture, and Dad continually asked about tuition. We entered the Alumni Memorial Union, and my little brother — terror and confusion in his voice — asked our guide, "What's … that for?" He was pointing at the Gay Straight Alliance's rainbow-striped flag, hanging from the display case next to the stairwell.

Before our flustered guide could answer, one of … them … walked out of the Brew.

It was a homosexual. And he was wearing blue jeans and a tie-dye and his hair was spiked and … that earring. I'll never forget the earring.

My mother fainted, and Dad caught her before she hit the linoleum. My brother wept, and the tour guide shoved the intruding homosexual back into the GSA office and locked the door. Dad called 911, and as I held my brother — tears splashing against my sleeve — I decided Marquette was the place for me.

I'm not gay, nor a current GSA member, but something spoke to me that afternoon. Secular university or not, Marquette seemed like the right place. And despite my parents' violent protests, I enrolled and never looked back.

But I digress. If Zabrowski is not busy self-flagellating with the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) this weekend, go make a gay friend. I swear they won't sodomize you. Salma Khaleq, intrepid Viewpoint editor — please stop printing this reductive bile. Levelheaded and considerate people outside Marquette read the Tribune too, and they can't be terribly impressed. And to the martyrs warming up their word processors to pen a cutting retort — lay off Arun Gandhi. He's Gandhi's grandson! The Gandhi. Who are you?

Kyle Carritt is a senior in the College of Arts & Sciences.

This viewpoint appeared in The Marquette Tribune on April 5 2005.