Upon seeing the Sept. 16 Viewpoint by Nicholas Zettel, "Politics threatened by 'robots,'" I approached a level of excitement to which a Viewpoint had not taken me for a long time. I firmly propped my bum at the front desk of Straz Tower — only inches away from where I took the paper — and began reading. But as I slowly made my way through the writing and had the desk receptionist help me sound out most of it, I realized that all the important matters were being dodged. The majority of the faithful readers in the Marquette community had been misled.

This matter is not politics being threatened by "robots," but rather politics being threatened by robots.

I have to walk home in the late hours of the night multiple nights of the week, and I never feel safe. Though Public Safety has done their very best to impede the robotic advancement, they have — in the end — only helped it. The blue-light phones seemed like a good idea at the time. Now every time you can see one, they can see you from three. That's right. The blue-light phones are actually a complex system of video surveillance used to keeps the human population from organizing revolt.

I can see you all shaking your heads as you read this. A lot to swallow? It sure seems like it, and you most likely don't believe it. Think about it, though. Think about how many times you swipe your Marquette ID in a day. Think about Marquette cash. Is it even convenient? What's the point then? Need more? How about that little thing they put your ID in when you go to Caffrey's? How about the people in Olin? There's no way half of them are even human! All are monitoring devices of these artificially intelligent peeping toms.

I'm sure a few of you are still unbelievers. Explain to me this then: Mecha-Jesus! That's right, go to the statue outside the Jesuit Residence. Have you ever seen people acting belligerent in that general vicinity? No, you haven't, and I'll tell you why. Those shards of metal wrapping around Jesus are part of his mech-suit, ready to form around him at a moments notice. Any human found out of line will surely not find mercy. Seriously, why else would anyone spend so much money on a statue like that? Even Fr. Wild is second in command to the robot army.

Now you can see that our every move is monitored. From computers, to amplifiers, to even that kid that lives across the hall who enjoys math a little too much, we cannot be safe. And we will not be safe until we conform to their sick and demented robot ways. Or so they think …

We reject being robots. Those laser wielding heaps of scrap metal can no longer govern our lives. For too long I've witnessed countless members of the Marquette community succumb to the powerful and unforgiving hand of this Robonian empire. For some time now they have been threatening not only our politics, but also our lives. Frankly, I think it's time for someone to make a stand. I must now put modesty aside and say that I am that man.

If this stand requires me to write Viewpoint after Viewpoint, I'll do it. But it may require more. In fact, I hope that it requires more. I hope it requires me donating my body to science and becoming a cybernetic organism whose sole purpose is defeating this trend of evil robots. I'd become a super man. Even better though, and more powerful! One might even venture to say a "mega" man.

After this all comes together, I could run for political office, and make things right, with weekly Flash Gordon appreciation ceremonies and a Dance Dance Revolution machine on every square block. Of course, considering my power, and position, I'd most likely turn corrupt very shortly. Then we'd be left off right where we started. Actually, we'd most likely be worse off. Oh well, you have to admit it'd be a hell of a run. It also wouldn't be too bad watching me and Mecha-Jesus battle it out.

Biros is a senior mechanical engineering major.

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