We've come a long way folks, and now, much to the chagrin of the teeming masses that avidly read my column for so long, we must say good-bye.

But before we do I'd like to make a few suggestions for next year. Nothing too wild, just a few things that I think would really brighten the campus in so many ways.

First, we need to drastically overhaul the programming on MUTV. I came up with this idea Friday while watching Blind Date. Let's have a Marquette Blind Date, or Marquette Elimidate.

That would be amazing wouldn't it? A bunch of drunken college kids vying for someone's love at Jimmy John's. How has this not been made already?

OK, for the first part of our date we'll go to the AMU for dinner. Then it's off to Caffrey's two-for-one shots night. After that we'll head back to my one-bedroom apartment for the night cap.

And you'd have to set up the most incompatible people too. We could bring the president of Marquette College Republicans and the president of the College Democrats together. Or we could set up an MUSG senator and someone on university probation. Or a Marquette Tribune Tuesday columnist and virtually anyone else on campus.

Sticking with the reality show theme, we could start a reality show with University President the Rev. Robert A. Wild. Make him eat in the cafeterias, sleep in the dorms, go to house parties, you know, run the whole college gambit.

Wouldn't it be hilarious to see Wild in those situations? Seeing him throw elbows to get to the keg before it runs out or slamming down Marquette Gyros at three in the morning.

Second, we need a massive bronze statue of Alf. Who here remembers Alf? I do. He was the coolest alien this side of Predator. And Alf always had a neat life lesson to teach us about gym shoes or hairbrushes or proper Pog etiquette. We desperately need more Alf.

Those are my two big demands for the campus next year. However, I do have a list of minor things I want to see.

Tom Crean's salary needs to go up again. I'm not talking a little raise either. I want to make it so that Tom Crean literally bathes in money. After our riveting first-round exit this year the sky is the limit for TC. Who knows, maybe if we double his salary we won't even make the tournament next year.

We should also invite Chuck Norris to give a guest lecture on something. What would he lecture on, you ask? Anything. He invented everything. He walks on water. He can eat a 68-ounce steak in three minutes. His chief export is pain. Those are all appropriate topics for him to talk about. We just need to invite him at a time when he's not saving the world or traveling through space or round-house kicking criminals.

Lastly, I want Marquette to be the butt of national jokes again next year. Two years ago we did the name change thing, this year we did the whole "No free speech at Marquette." Now we need something dynamic to complete the trifecta. I have complete faith in our PR people on this one.

Good luck getting through finals and have a great last week guys.