Turnip Staff
| Apr 29, 2015 | An open letter to open letters: Stop (Story) |
| Apr 08, 2015 | Bucks unveil $5 gagillion arena, move to Seattle anyway to take dean position (Story) |
| Apr 01, 2015 | BREAKING: MU to close down as university at end of academic year, reopen as giant bagel shop (Story) |
| Mar 29, 2015 | RESULTS: Tournament of Things Elite Eight (Story) |
| Mar 26, 2015 | RESULTS: Tournament of Things Sweet 16 (Story) |
| Mar 24, 2015 | RESULTS: Second round of Tournament of Things (Story) |
| Mar 20, 2015 | RESULTS: First round of Tournament of Things (Story) |
| Mar 17, 2015 | Joan of Arc Chapel wins Turnip’s first annual Tournament of Things (Story) |
| Mar 16, 2015 | Pete Green releases Powerpoint plan for MU (Story) |
| Mar 05, 2015 | MUSG subpoenas Pete Green’s private emails, emails reveal he loves freedom (Story) |
| Feb 26, 2015 | With Super Duper PAC, Pete Green to declare run Monday (Story) |
| Feb 16, 2015 | After provost announcement, MU announces new amateurvost (Story) |
| Feb 09, 2015 | Walker, Bucks partner for bake sale to fund new arena (Story) |
| Jan 27, 2015 | Pete Green forms exploratory committee to explore committees to make explorations (Story) |
| Jan 13, 2015 | Student who built ark in Mashuda has last laugh (Story) |
| Dec 03, 2014 | Student not contributing to group project gets hit by anvil (Story) |
| Oct 30, 2014 | MU commissions DPS to be well-regulated band of mighty Spartan warriors (Story) |
| Oct 09, 2014 | MU lands 15-star basketball recruit (Story) |
| Oct 02, 2014 | Honor Council urges Burke to take Academic Integrity Tutorial or else she can’t run for governor (Story) |
| Oct 02, 2014 | Ghost of Joseph McCarthy frustrated EthicsPoint wasn’t around during his MU tenure (Story) |
| Jul 15, 2014 | BREAKING: Person in MU leadership remains in job (Story) |
| Apr 29, 2014 | University sends email reminding seniors they are graduating (Story) |
| Apr 22, 2014 | MUSG reveals slush fund actually a slushie fund, a fund for slushies (Story) |
| Apr 03, 2014 | Milwaukee sports journalists quit jobs over difficulty spelling Marquette coach’s last name (Story) |
| Apr 01, 2014 | 339 years later, Father Marquette still not verified on Twitter (Story) |
| Apr 01, 2014 | Doc the ferret added to basketball roster (Story) |
| Apr 01, 2014 | Marquette adopts (another) new leadership model (Story) |
| Apr 01, 2014 | Sleepy Clone Turns Down Coaching Offer (Story) |
| Apr 01, 2014 | CNN delivers 24-hour coverage of Shaka Smart’s missing plane (Story) |
| Apr 01, 2014 | Joan of Arc Chapel resigns, moves back to France (Story) |
| Apr 01, 2014 | Green concedes from MUSG presidential race, but doesn’t (Story) |
| Mar 17, 2014 | Marquette men’s basketball accepts bid to play HORSE at court by O’Donnell once weather gets nicer (Story) |
| Mar 09, 2014 | Pete Green unveils “14-point plan for a Greener tomorrow but not like in the environmental way” (Story) |
| Mar 09, 2014 | MU announces search committee to search for committees to make searches (Story) |
| Mar 03, 2014 | Turnip endorses Pete Green, write-in candidate for MUSG president (Story) |
| Feb 24, 2014 | Professor who actually uses gradebook wins Nobel Prize (Story) |
| Feb 13, 2014 | Student organization raises billions in mid-afternoon bake sale (Story) |
| Dec 12, 2013 | Student just wanted to study during Raynor Rave (Story) |
| Dec 10, 2013 | Cumulative final dates back to preschool (Story) |
| Dec 09, 2013 | Entire class of students waits anxiously for someone, anyone to add to Google Doc study guide (Story) |
| Dec 05, 2013 | Freshman with last spring semester sign-up time gets all the 8 a.m.s ever (Story) |
| Dec 02, 2013 | Stress-relief puppies stressed out from being pet by stressed students (Story) |
| Nov 25, 2013 | McCormick dining hall makes everything pumpkin spiced because fall season says so (Story) |
| Nov 24, 2013 | Presidential search committee looks under desks, in closets, still can’t find president (Story) |
| Nov 22, 2013 | Marquette announces new construction on all the buildings, all the things (Story) |
| Nov 20, 2013 | BREAKING: Student pretending to text while waiting for class to start actually has text (Story) |
| Oct 01, 2013 | Marquette names new interim interim in the Office of the Interim (Story) |
| Feb 21, 2013 | BREAKING: Liberal arts student finds job at job fair (Story) |
| Jan 14, 2013 | University demolishes McCormick when no one is looking, hopes no one notices (Story) |
| Dec 12, 2012 | Comm student spending all day studying remembers he is a comm student, stops studying (Story) |
| Nov 15, 2012 | Journalism professors ask students to live-tweet REM cycles (Story) |
| Oct 02, 2012 | Mixed emotions as Milwaukee autumn begins, ends (Story) |
| Sep 18, 2012 | Starving dog sniffs new chicken parm, elects to lick own butt as students consider doing the same (Story) |
| Sep 18, 2012 | Milwaukee closes bridge to celebrate reopening, celebrates Bucks by relocating team (Story) |
| Aug 27, 2012 | Student realizes Vander Blue is not a crayon (Story) |