As the 2020 fall semester begins, we reflect on our time during quarantine. This blog was written April 2, 2020.
Talking to my friend about it, he said right now it’s impossible to pretend everything is normal and that your life is the same as it used to be. But it’s hard not to crave that feeling of normalcy.
The feeling you had when you said goodbye to your friends expecting to see them in a week. The feeling you had of walking from class to class and being annoyed when too many cars go by to jaywalk. The feeling you had of being up too late and the feeling of living in a dorm with other people. The feeling you had after being at Bradford Beach in the middle of the night in the middle of winter, only to return to your room and dance and sing super loud, knowing you were going to get in trouble for quiet hours. The feeling you had playing cards with friends. The feeling you had when you were drifting off to sleep in a lofted bed before you knew it was the last time.
There’s all these feelings that we are going to miss. But at the same time it feels like having these disappointments makes it seem like we don’t understand why the changes are necessary. Everybody I know is trying to self isolate in their houses, but surely being upset about huge changes in our lives is okay?
Something in particular I struggle with is the lack of seeing people. I remember when I moved out of my dorm (the first time, back when I thought it was hopefully only temporary), my RA said that it wasn’t a time to socialize. Students were expected to pack up all essential items in twenty minutes or less without interacting with their friends.
“They’re only a Facetime call away,” the RAs said.
At the time, that irritated me so much. Human connection cannot be replaced by Facetime. But it has to be, doesn’t it? I was never one to text, but now that it’s all we got.
I apologize to ramble, as realistically being home isn’t terrible for me. For that I am grateful, especially knowing my friends who are in more difficult home environments. But at the same time, being at home feels like I am thrown back into who I was in high school. Will I fall back into old habits?
Despite all of these thoughts running through my head, I’ve been trying to think positive. Although I’m sure permanent change is in the air, I can only hope that all will be okay again. We will return to some sense of normalcy, even if it is a new normal. A quote I read right as everything rapidly changed said to find peace in the chaos and that all will be well.
Let’s all try to do that. I hope you are able to find peace in the chaos.