Dear Sally

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When should my boyfriend meet my parents? How soon is too fast?

MH: Ideally, your boyfriend will never meet your parents. He might like your mom better than you.

RH: Definitely wait at least three dates.

MK: In a perfect world, your parents should be the one organizing all your dates.

Should I consider being a RA to get free room & board? 

RH: Your goals are too small. Become the president. Build your dream house right on campus. Run the school into the ground. Flee the country. Finish your degree. Start your own small business.

JM: Do your interests include babysitting a herd of hungover, overly-anxious, and vape-addicted toddlers?  If yes, go for it.

SL: If Corms was still used as a residence hall, my vote would be yes. Who doesn’t love 5 foot rooms?

AB: No, consider being an RA for the late night knocks on your door for another crying session from the resident that misses home for the third time this week.

My roommate keeps bringing their significant other over without telling me, what should I do?

MH: Raynor Library is open 24 hours during the school year. Sleep there to give your roommate space.

MK: Change the locks.

AB: Never leave the room. Stay there and be the parental guidance they need for a college relationship.

I think the guy I’ve been dating has ghosted me, what should I do?

RH: Is ghosting someone the same thing that Patrick Swayze did during the pottery scene in “Ghost” (1990)? Because that rules.

JM: Call an exorcist. Duh.

SL: Secretly egg his dorm room in the dead of night.

AB: He’s probably not getting your messages. I would keep texting and try again. Couple times every hour would certainly do the trick. Knock on his door, ask in person.

I’m an incoming freshman, what are some things I should do to make friends in my classes?

RH: People love it when you call them mean names and are sarcastic all the time, give it a shot.

SL: Wear monochromatic outfits down to the shoes. That way, you’ll always have a go-to conversation starter.

MK: Ask your teacher if you can present a PowerPoint on the first day with some “fun facts” about yourself.

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