It’s Halloween, you don’t have any costume ideas and you’re an avid sports fan. What to do? In the spirit of the holiday season, I offer a list of 10 last-second options.
10. Vagabond Tebow:
Kudos to the Marquette student spotted on campus last Friday in this simple, yet memorable get-up. ESPN kept all of us well informed on Tim Tebow’s fall from grace. From leading Denver to a thrilling playoff overtime win to currently seeking an NFL roster spot, any move the young QB makes is swiftly made headline news.
What you need: A Tebow jersey (Jets, Broncos or Florida will do) and a long stick with a knapsack tied on the end. Note: If going with a Florida jersey, jorts are an acceptable accompaniment.
9. Baby Dez Bryant:
This one’s pretty topical, but applicable to your favorite cry-baby sports star. Sidney Crosby is a popular alternative. As the Dallas Cowboys saw what would’ve been an impressive road victory in Detroit slip away this weekend, cameras captured an unhappy Bryant in a heated exchange with teammate Jason Witten.
What you need: One Dez Bryant jersey and any variety of baby accessories: a bottle, pacifier, bonnet, large cloth diaper, etc.
8. Manti Teo’s girlfriend:
Quite possibly the simplest costume idea available. Last college football season, Notre Dame linebacker Manti Teo fell victim to a “catfish” scandal in which his significant other was discovered to be nonexistent.
What you need: Nothing. Don’t go out or show up to any Halloween events.
7. Lyin’ Braun:
This could be a popular one with many Wisconsin sports fans. Brewers’ left fielder Ryan Braun was the subject of national scrutiny as he was suspended for PED use this season after vehemently claiming he was clean a year earlier.
What you need: A Braun jersey (you could probably buy one fairly cheap off a disgruntled Milwaukee fan, or find one at your local dump) and either a long fake wooden nose a la Pinocchio, or pants with attached fake or drawn-on flames.
6. Nate Burleson:
Topical, but a good laugh for most NFL fans. A few weeks ago, Lions wide receiver Nate Burleson broke his arm in a car accident while taking his arms off the wheel to prevent a pizza from falling to the floor.
What you need: Wear a Burleson jersey, bandage one arm and carry a pizza box under your opposing arm.
5. Tyson and Holyfield:
A good costume for couples and friends. Many will never forget the infamous night former boxing great Mike Tyson bit off part of opponent Evander Holyfield’s ear.
What you need: Two pairs of boxing shorts, red marker and a fake bloody ear.
4. Orange Peanut:
A great cultural reference that will resonate with viewers of the “Bad Lip Reading of NFL Players” video.
What you need: An Adrian Peterson jersey and a bag of circus peanuts. Could potentially work with a Marshawn Lynch jersey and Skittles.
3. David Freeze:
For the punny ones. A play on the last name of the St. Louis Cardinals’ 2011 World Series hero.
What you need: A Freese jersey and blue face paint and/or Batman villain Mr. Freeze related accessories.
2. Obi-Wan Ginobili:
Spurs and Star Wars fans rejoice in another punny tribute to one of San Antonio’s greatest sports icons.
What you need: A Ginobili jersey, a brown robe and a fake lightsaber.
1. Johnny Manziel:
This one’s perfect for any fan of college football. Just don’t wear it if you’re attending a party at the University of Texas.
What you need: A Manziel jersey, fake money to throw around throughout the night, a black marker and various signed pictures.
Honorable mention: Dino Chris Bosh, Megatron, Craig Sager, a blind referee or any awful team’s jersey with a brown paper bag over your head.