Hey everyone! Tonight will be the second to last episode ever of The Gus Knorr Show before my graduation in only ten days, so it’ll be of the utmost importance that everyone listen, particularly to tonight’s show. Tonight is the 4th Annual Christmas Episode of The Gus Knorr Show, as, for the fourth and final time in my tenure at Marquette, I will be playing some of my favorite Christmas and other winter holiday-related songs. Some of the songs I’ll play are better known, and others are more obscure, but you’ll be hearing lots of goofy novelty Christmas songs that don’t have do with hippopotami or murderous reindeer! Also, I’ll be playing songs from what I think are the ten best Christmas albums ever released. That and more will all be tonight, on The Gus Knorr Show, at 8:00 PM, only on Marquette Radio!

• The first song on tonight’s episode is a classic Christmas song by “Weird Al” Yankovic, called “Christmas at Ground Zero,” which, contrary to what the title might tell you, is about the “ground zero” after a nuclear apocalypse, as it was written in the mid-’80s.
• Next is a version of “The Twelve Days of Christmas” by Bob and Doug McKenzie, two fictional Canadians from the old sketch comedy show SCTV. Speaking of which, we’ve got nineteen days until Christmas, so if you don’t know what to get anyone, get them either beer in a tree, or put on your thinking tuque and think of other gift ideas.
• The next song is from the awesomely awful 1980 Star Wars Christmas album Christmas in the Stars, which mostly features duets between C-3PO and R2-D2, as well as various backing singers. This particular song, “R2-D2 We Wish You A Merry Christmas,” actually features a then-18-years-old Jon Bon Jovi as one of the soloists.
• Next up is another Christmas classic, which was a cover of an older song, “I Yust Go Nuts at Christmas” by Yogi Yorgesson, though covered by legendary farm broadcaster Orion Samuelson, who has been in broadcasting for over fifty years.
• The Wesley Willis Song of the Week is next, which is simply called “Merry Christmas.”
• Next is a song by another outsider musician, the late, great Wild Man Fischer, who performed this spoken-word piece as a duet with Dr. Demento, “I’m a Christmas Tree.”
• Yet another song by an outsider musician is next, namely Mojo Nixon, best known for his 1989 single “Debbie Gibson is Pregnant With My Two-Headed Love Child.” This song, parodying “Louie, Louie,” is called “Christmas, Christmas.”
• Now, we’re going to play songs from what I think are the ten greatest Christmas albums of all time. #10 on the list is the 1987 Bob Rivers novelty Christmas album, Twisted Christmas, and is his version of “The Twelve Days of Christmas,” only titled “The Twelve Pains of Christmas.” If you’ve ever had to rig up lights or send Christmas cards, you’ll probably relate to this song. One of many silly, lighthearted Christmas classics, and one of several comedy albums on this top 10 list.
• Next up is a less lighthearted song, though is a timeless one, as the best-selling worldwide single ever released (even more sales than “Candle in the Wind 1997!)” It’s Bing Crosby’s version of “White Christmas,” released on his 1945 Christmas album Merry Christmas, the #9 album on my list of favorite Christmas albums. (How many times can you use the word “album” in one sentence, Gus? Get a thesaurus, man!)
• The #8 album on the list is the 1987 charity Christmas album A Very Special Christmas, which raised money for the Special Olympics. It featured Christmas songs performed by an all-star cast, mostly covers, by Whitney Houston, Madonna, Bruce Springsteen, U2, and others, though one of its best known songs, which is also the next song on The Gus Knorr Show, is “Christmas in Hollis,” by Run-D.M.C.
• Next up is a song from the #7 album on my favorite Christmas album list, by the King of Rock and Roll, Elvis Presley, and was off his 1957 Christmas album, Elvis’ Christmas Album. Written by Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller, it’s “Santa Claus is Back in Town.”
• The next two songs are from albums featuring characters from animated sitcoms. The #6 album is from the creators of the Adult Swim program Aqua Teen Hunger Force, entitled Have Yourself a Very Meaty Christmas. This silly album features songs sung by Meatwad, Master Shake, Frylock, and Carl, and the next song on The Gus Knorr Show, primarily sung by Meatwad, is “All I Want for Christmas is My One Front Tooth.”
• The #5 album on my list is from the Comedy Central sitcom South Park, and consists of songs from the series’ 1999 episode “Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics.” This song, sung by Kyle Broflovski, the series’ main Jewish character, his parents, and his friends Stan and Cartman, is his version of “Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel,” that only Matt and Trey could pull off.
• Moving back to some more traditional versions of Christmas songs, my #4 favorite Christmas album is the soundtrack to the legendary Christmas album A Charlie Brown Christmas. Performed by the Vince Guaraldi Trio, this song is probably the best known instrumental used in all Peanuts TV specials, “Linus and Lucy.”
• The #3 album on this list is one that’ll probably make you wonder what I’m on, as it’s by a group of musicians called the Kickin’ Kazoos, from their 1998 album, Kazoo Christmas: Krazy Holiday Klassics. I actually first listened to this song as a Cub Scout in 1998, and became an accomplished kazoo player after hearing this album and playing for a group of senior citizens, so this holds great significance and memory to me. This song is an upbeat, garage rock-esque version of “Deck the Halls.”
• Coming down to the #2 album, which is actually considered a legendary classic by many, A Christmas Gift for You From Phil Spector. The song from this album, by Darlene Love, is “Christmas (Please Come Home.)”
• And now, it’s time for my favorite Christmas album of all time, which, believe it or not, I played earlier on The Gus Knorr Show tonight, and is…wait for it…

• Christmas in the Stars, the great Star Wars Christmas album. This song, sung by the Star Wars Intergalactic Droid Choir and Chorale, is called “What Can You Get a Wookiee for Christmas (When He Already Owns a Comb?)”
• After these songs are two additional more ones, continuing an annual tradition on The Gus Knorr Show; first, the song “Guy Lombardo,” by the grindcore band A.C., followed by a stark contrast to Guy Lombardo, the Canadian bandleader, wishing us a Happy New Year over an instrumental version of “Auld Lang Syne.”

That’s it for The Gus Knorr Show tonight, but stay tuned next week for the final episode ever of The Gus Knorr Show on Marquette Radio, before I move on into The Real World, and live with a group of housemates while our shenanigans and escapades are documented on video for millions to see on MTV. I don’t know what the theme will be yet, but I know that you absolutely will not want to miss it. Thanks for listening, and hope you’re now in the Christmas spirit!